A lot of people think they want to live forever. But do they really? I tend to believe that most of us only want to stick around as long as we are reasonably fit, healthy and happy. However, there is only so much we can do that will guarantee that outcome. Instead, what most of us don’t know (and I didn’t know until recently) the length of time you believe you have left has more of an influence on your well-being than you probably know. Just being aware of that and how it changes our goals and motivations going forward, might be the best strategy we can take for making the most of the time we have left. Why?
A bulk of this view comes from the work of Dr. Laura L. Carstensen who is the director of the Stanford Center on Longevity, author of numerous books on aging and an undisputed leader in the psychology of aging. [Read more…]
How’s your focus these days? Have you started to do something, got distracted and then forgotten what you were even doing? I have. For the last year or two I have increasingly noticed how much more difficult to do so many things I used to do easily like write a blog post. But it isn’t just with writing. I’ve also noticed how it’s become more challenging to find the time to sit and read a book, focus on certain tasks, or consistently do other things that used to be part of my days. Meanwhile, time seems to be speeding by and I’m feeling busier than ever. Besides being easily distracted, my memory isn’t what it used to be. To explain it all, I assumed it was because I was getting older. Nope. I’ve since learned that this inability to focus and pay attention is a result of bigger forces at work. Of course, as the saying goes, to cure something, we must first know why it’s happening.
Like most of us I find it easy to agree that seeking awe and wonder on a regular basis seems like a good way to live. We’ve all seen the magic that happens when children light up with excitement whenever they encounter something new. But let’s face it, as we get older, we’ve been around a while and observed and experienced a great deal. So, while it is easy to think of seeing wonder as something good, when was the last time you or I felt an overwhelming absorption of awe? Can you remember a time you felt humble in light of something universally large? Or did we lose our sense of wonder as we’ve aged or just forgotten how to find it? Perhaps we need to relearn the skill of wonder-seeking.
Years ago, Thom and I scaled back our living space and rightsized. That conscious choice was to sell our larger home and buy one nearly half the size. Our decision not only saved us a significant amount of money—more importantly, it gave us the peace of mind and freedom to live in a way far more aligned with what matters most to us. So even though we had fewer “rooms” in our house, in the end our new home offered us many more opportunities to create the lifestyle that we wanted. Taking things a step further, sometimes a home and the rooms inside offer a far more important analogy than simply a place where we dwell.
For as long as I can remember I have always encountered a new year with optimism and hope. Even when Y2K or the Mayan 2012 (remember them?) loomed on the horizon and then passed, I continued to believe that any obstacle we faced in a new year could be overcome by either going over, around, or through the problems in front of us. Now at the beginning of 2024, we are faced with new and interesting challenges. But again, it is not my nature to resort to believing that optimism and hope are suddenly impossible. As I, and others far wiser than me have said, “Pain may be inevitable, but suffering is always optional.” With that in mind, I’ve spent the last few days of this year coming up with what I believe are ten ways to embrace more happiness and hope in the coming 365. 
Have you ever wondered how some people seem to get crankier the older they get? Have you ever worried that you might become one of them? Ever since we began staying in a 55 or older community, I have noticed that a few people seem downright cranky at their age. Luckily, the vast majority are friendly and kind but there are still a few that you quickly know to avoid. How does that happen? Were they always that way? While I suppose some circumstances could lead to a person becoming justifiably cranky and disagreeable (like pain or loss) I think we likely have more choice in the matter than we know. Plus, lately I’ve come across some new insights that would likely contribute to the mindset—those come from what is called “collective illusions.” 
