For my entire life I have avoided the very idea of suffering. It’s not that I don’t feel sympathy for others when I witness others going through challenging times, but as for me—nope! With the arrogance of youth, I remained convinced that even when things looked disastrous in my life, I could always work them out. Like Pollyanna, I didn’t deny bad things happen to good people, I just felt certain that with the right approach anything could be overcome. Then when I came upon the New Thought philosophy, it gave me the tools (or at least the narrative) about how to do just that. But you know what? I’m much older now and I can’t help but look around and notice that people are suffering through no apparent fault of their own. Sometimes, no matter what you do, stuff happens. And yes, if I’m honest, there have been times when I have suffered physically and mentally. Maybe that’s why when I came across Richard Rohr’s new book, The Tears of Things—Prophetic Wisdom for an Age of Outrage I knew there was something there for me to consider.
Don’t Wait Until The End to Discover What’s Most Important
Last spring a neighbor here in Tucson recommended a book. This neighbor, Jeff, told us that it was one of the most important books he’d ever read. How could we not be intrigued? Thom read it first and then through the summer I took my turn. What book? Written by a man named Frank Ostaseski, this book is titled The Five Invitations. What is most captivating is the subtitle—Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully. And while that might seem to be an unusual topic to take along with us on a summer vacation, it really wasn’t. As the book makes perfectly clear, if you aren’t making the most of your life in every moment—right now—how will you do it when your time is over?
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Are We In a Comfort Crisis Or Have We Just Gotten Lazy?
I’m the first to confess that I like my conveniences. I love having both a laptop and a desktop computer so I can write or research anywhere I want. I can’t imagine living without my hearing aids being able to connect to my iPhone so I can take calls or listen to music anytime I want (not to mention hear well!). Speaking of my iPhone, knowing the temperature today and for the next 10 days anywhere in the world seems important, doesn’t it? Or what about Google Maps telling me where I am at any given point day or night? I don’t know about you, but without those comforts (and I didn’t even mention air-conditioning, televisions, a washer/dryer and a thousand other household items) my lifestyle would seem antiquated. Clearly all those things and so much more make my life comfortable. But are they necessary? And is it possible that taken all together there are unforeseen costs that are making me lazy?
Five Big Reasons Why It’s Harder to Focus (It is NOT Age Related!)
How’s your focus these days? Have you started to do something, got distracted and then forgotten what you were even doing? I have. For the last year or two I have increasingly noticed how much more difficult to do so many things I used to do easily like write a blog post. But it isn’t just with writing. I’ve also noticed how it’s become more challenging to find the time to sit and read a book, focus on certain tasks, or consistently do other things that used to be part of my days. Meanwhile, time seems to be speeding by and I’m feeling busier than ever. Besides being easily distracted, my memory isn’t what it used to be. To explain it all, I assumed it was because I was getting older. Nope. I’ve since learned that this inability to focus and pay attention is a result of bigger forces at work. Of course, as the saying goes, to cure something, we must first know why it’s happening.
How & Why To Become a Wonder-Seeker
Like most of us I find it easy to agree that seeking awe and wonder on a regular basis seems like a good way to live. We’ve all seen the magic that happens when children light up with excitement whenever they encounter something new. But let’s face it, as we get older, we’ve been around a while and observed and experienced a great deal. So, while it is easy to think of seeing wonder as something good, when was the last time you or I felt an overwhelming absorption of awe? Can you remember a time you felt humble in light of something universally large? Or did we lose our sense of wonder as we’ve aged or just forgotten how to find it? Perhaps we need to relearn the skill of wonder-seeking.
Why Is Change So Hard?
Have you ever had something you really wanted or needed to change, but never seem to manage it? Or how about a change you were able to make for a short time, but before long slipped back into your old routine? You are not alone. Unfortunately, while we all tend to think that with a strong desire and enough will-power we can change anything about ourselves we choose, that is only partially true. Sure, a strong desire is important, and self-discipline is necessary, but as I’ve recently learned we all have an innate “immunity to change” that can keep us stuck in old habits and behaviors. It is that unrecognized, self-protective immunity that makes change so difficult. For those of us who are on a quest to know ourselves better as life goes on and to make positive changes when necessary, learning how this immunity works is juicy stuff.
Is It Time for Me to Give Up the Pursuit of Happiness?
For as long as I can remember I have been seeking happiness. Back in high school when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up—I said “happy.” I convinced myself that the pursuit of happiness was not only our self-evident right, but that it was equal to the unalienable rights of life and liberty. (Remember the constitution?) I think I’ve read every book with the words happy and happiness in them ever written. And while I am mostly always happy, there are days when it isn’t easy. Then recently I’ve read a couple of books that have me questioning that pursuit on a much deeper level. Is it possible I’ve been seeking the wrong thing? And is it possible that what most of us want when we say we want happiness isn’t located where we’ve been looking?
My Surrender Experiment
In January of 2022 I selected the word surrender for my word of the year. Often referred to as WOTY, it is customary for people to pick a particular word to hold in their mind, and perhaps guide them, throughout the year. I wasn’t entirely sure why I selected surrender, only that it seemed like the perfect next step after using “trust” as my word for 2021. As things happen, surrender became more and more meaningful to me as the year unfolded. Then recently I reread a book from several years ago by Michael A Singer. That book, titled The Surrender Experience is Singer’s follow-up to his first book the untethered soul—the journey beyond yourself. Together, those two books are helping me recognize my own surrender experiment and where I hope to go from here. [Read more…]
How Trustworthy Are You Really?
I’m not sure why I requested a review copy of the book Trust & Inspire—How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness In Others by Stephen M.R. Covey, but I did. Like many of you, I don’t have a business or employees. Not only do I not manage other people, I sometimes don’t seem to manage myself that well either. But I do deeply admire the author’s father—the late Stephen Covey author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, so the name caught my attention. And when I think about it, the idea of trust has been on my mind as well. Do I truly trust myself to do what I say I will do? Do I trust those around me? Do I trust the products I buy and/or the businesses that sell them? Do I trust my government? As Covey points out, if trustworthy people don’t see others as trustworthy (even if they are) then trust is absent. And is that the kind of world I want to live in?
Finding Your Inner Peace Through the Tao
Have you ever heard the saying, “If you aren’t outraged, then you aren’t paying attention?” After all, with all the suffering in the world right now, is the choice to stay calm and centered or happy the right response? How can we stay alert and aware of what’s going on in the Ukraine, with COVID, the climate crisis, rising food prices, etc. etc. and not feel motivated to respond with outraged action? Actually, there is another way. And that way is called the Tao. I was recently given an excellent reminder of that possibility when asked to review the book, The Tao of Inner Peace by Diane Dreher Ph.D. While I’m not exactly a stranger to the Tao, this book offered me clear instruction and insight as to why our inner peace is so very primary. And the more chaotic the circumstances in the world and in our lives, the more we need to access that inner peace. For it is only there that we can ever truly make a difference for ourselves and others. [Read more…]
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