creating happiness Archives — Page 3 of 4

36 Relationship Lessons From 36 Years of Marriage

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Meaningful, Rightsized, Thankful

Thom & I — 36 years later!

One of my blogging friends named Bethany turned 35 a couple of weeks ago and she wrote a blog post listing 35 different lessons she’s learned during her life. After getting over the shock of realizing I’d been married longer than she’s been on the planet—I realized that with my wedding anniversary happening this week, I had learned a great deal during the last 36 years of marriage. With the hope that some of these might prove useful to others, here’s my list: [Read more…]

Music Can Make You Happy & Healthy—Or Not!

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Meaningful

Song Titled “Blessed” by Martina McBride–click to listen

It doesn’t take a genius or a scientist to know that music has the ability to lift our mood and make us feel happier. In fact I’ll bet every single one of us can think of a song that played at a pivotal moment in our lives and be instantly transported back to that time and place the minute it plays. Or I’ll bet you can remember a time when your all-time favorite song spontaneously came over the radio and you burst out in song and/or dance with a smile on your face. But if we all know music can make us happy, why don’t we use music more regularly to experience greater happiness and motivate our actions when necessary? More importantly, are we willing to consider that music might even alter the very chemistry of our bodies and positively influence our overall health. [Read more…]

Right-Sizing Your Way To Retirement—Step Two

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Rightsized, Sustainable

Relaxing in a Right-Sized Life

Back in our twenties, Thom and I wanted to be millionaires. TV shows like Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? fueled the desire to amass our fortune. Then somewhere along the way someone really SMART asked Thom, “Why a millionaire?” and forced him to consider what he meant by that idea. For the first, time Thom began listing experiences and feelings that he hoped to achieve if and when he/we became millionaires. To which his friend said something like, “So it’s really the feelings and experiences you want—not the money itself?” From that moment forward, we began realizing that the labels of being rich, poor or somewhere in-between had little to do with the actual quality or experience of our lives. In fact, the things we thought most important could be realized with far less income than we ever imagined. That’s why through the years we’ve come to believe that “right-sizing” is a much better way to describe the unique and priceless lifestyle that brings you happiness, purpose and peace of mind regardless of your age. Once you have that clear picture of what brings you a happy and quality lifestyle, you can begin to figure out the second step of where money fits into your life. [Read more…]

Self Esteem & Self Image—What’s The Difference & Why Does It Matter?

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Rightsized

Self–esteem isn’t asserting my right to do whatever I want whenever I want it—it is instead reminding me that I am okay no matter what experience may be occurring in my life at any time!

Connecting to Self Esteem

Like many other women I was raised to be nice, polite and want people to like me. By the time I was old enough to realize that those “other people” didn’t always have my best interests at heart, it was too late. That habit of seeing my self worth reflected by other people was deeply entrenched in how I thought and often how I behaved. And although I’ve made lots of progress during the last 25+ years or so—the truth is I still often take the opinions of others far too personally, and I frequently care too much what others think of me—especially when it has to do with something I hold dear to heart. That’s why when I recently came across a discussion by Deepak Chropra explaining the difference between self-esteem and self-image, I discovered there was a difference. More importantly, knowing that difference matters quite a bit. [Read more…]

Are You Safe—Or Is It Just Another Trick of the Mind?

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Rightsized

“Safety is something that happens between your ears, not something you hold in your hands.” ~ Jeff Coop

The view from the deck of our temporary home in Mexico.

Do you spend a lot of time worrying about safety? The reason I ask is because that question has popped up a number of times since we decided to spend a month in Mexico. The location where we have landed is about 40 miles south of San Diego and a few miles south of Rosarito on the Baja coast. We have visited this area for the last 25 years on and off, have friends who live here full time, and have never once had an “incident” that would make us consider it unsafe. Yet, without a doubt, the first thing that anyone asks when we tell them where we are going is—“Is it safe?” [Read more…]

You Don’t Have To Be A Success

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Meaningful, Rightsized

Since writing my post last week about curing my addiction to “more,” I’ve continued on by dwelling on the idea of success. Gradually I’ve come to the conclusion that success is another one of those things that many of us waste much of our lives pursuing, without being fully aware of what it really means to us. Like Lily Tomlin says, “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” With that in mind, maybe it’s time to stop striving for success at anything—anything that is—except for being the best “me” each of us can be. [Read more…]

The SMART Minimalist Tip #1—Uncovering A Boundless Mixture of Benefits

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Meaningful, Sustainable

“Living simply is not about living in poverty or self-inflicted deprivation. It’s about living an examined life where one has determined what is truly important and enough…and then just let go of all the rest.” ~Duane Elgin

SMART Living 365 While I don’t consider myself an expert or authority on minimalism or simple living, I do recognize the value of focusing on aspects of the practice. That’s right, I consider minimalism or simple living to be practices that lead to a more happy, balanced, and meaningful life. But because there are so many rewarding aspects to the practice, and so many juicy benefits to share—I’ve decided that a focus on each one as an individual “tip” would be helpful for myself—and perhaps you as well. So to start with, I wanted to come up with best benefit of them all. And I couldn’t do it! The truth is that since I started practicing a more simple approach to life—the benefits keep showing up. That’s when I decided that the primary SMART Minimalist tip is to let you know that simple living offers more benefits than you can imagine—and the only way to start experiencing them all is to just begin discovering them for yourself. [Read more…]

How Trade-Offs and Opportunity Costs Help To Create A Simple & Happy Life

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Meaningful, Rightsized

Kloe & Me on the day we brought her home from the shelter.

Like it or not, most of us are familiar with the idea that much of life is a trade-off. Like to live in the city? Then you’ll likely have to put up with noise and people. Hate exercising? Then you may gain weight and lose muscle mass. Want to live in the country? Then you might have to drive miles to find a Starbucks for your morning latte. But even if you are aware of the trade-offs you’ve made in your life on a regular basis, you may not have considered them in terms of the “opportunity costs” involved. What I’ve recently discovered is that when faced with trade-offs, calculating what are called “opportunity costs” is a great way to stay true to your values and focused on the benefits of a simple and happy life.
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Love to Travel—Love to Come Home

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Meaningful, Thankful

“Wherever you go, there you are.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

IMG_0574[1] By now it is probably obvious that I love to travel. But what you might not realize is that I also love coming home. It wasn’t always that way. Years ago I was constantly scheming up ways to get out of town. Naturally, the more exotic the location the better—but I really wasn’t that picky. Above all, I longed to escape to the open road and the infinite possibility that it held. When I finally had to come home it was more like a punishment, or at least the penalty that must be paid until the next adventure came along. Then somewhere along the line my thinking started changing—until now I am as happy returning home as I am packing my bags to go. So what’s different? Ultimately, I’ve come to believe that coming home after any length of time provides a huge mirror into a person’s life. What we think is important, what we feel we have to be and do, and even who we think we are, are all reflected in the thoughts and images of what we must return to after we’ve been away. [Read more…]

Packing Light & Other Thoughts on Eliminating The Unnecessary

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Meaningful, Rightsized

“He who would travel happily must travel light.” ~Antoine de St. Exupery

After nearly a dozen overseas trips I’ve learned that you really don’t need to take as much stuff as you think you do. In so many ways, that also offers us all a lesson in rightsizing. Of course it is easier for guys because they can get away with a pair of jeans and a couple of t-shirts. But even though I’m responsible for toiletries and toothbrushes, I’ve learned that the penalty for lugging around a ton of stuff while trying to enjoy yourself is not worth the benefit of having it “just in case you need it.” And that made me think about all the other things I’ve tried to over-pack throughout the years, and a few things I’ve discovered about eliminating unnecessary clutter.

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