This morning I listened to a podcast interview of author and speaker Adam Grant. I wrote a blog post about his latest book several weeks ago and he is still on my mind. What I appreciate most from that book is his challenge to “think again” about so many of my deeply held thoughts and beliefs—and to do it from an open, curious and humble position. What if instead of approaching the day like we normally do, we did it as though it really was the first day of the rest of our life? What if we threw out all our preconceived ideas about right or wrong and started fresh? What if we gave people the benefit of the doubt, trusting that most people are basically good? What if we were willing to admit that a lot of the time we don’t have the answers and are just trying to do our best? What if we gave other people the same consideration? Instead of ever thinking that I wish other people knew more, did better or acted more like I think they should act—I decided instead to be the best kind of person I could be? What if we all did? Imagining what the world would be like from that space would be a very SMART thing to do.
Clean slate, brand new day. Oh the possibilities! Great post Kathy.
I love this, Kathy! I have learned over the years that if I complain about someone and fixate on what they do that I do not like, then I see more of that behavior from them. I can’t change anyone else, but I can change how I approach them. Leading my team at work, I have learned to focus on their strengths–especially the strengths they have that I do not. Yes, I have to set boundaries at times, but a lot of complaining stems from not setting boundaries when we should.
Hi Bethany, I confess I don’t always remember this but I would sure like too. And I agree about your statement about boundaries. That’s very helpful! ~Kathy
I keep trying to change the cynical, forensic, no nonsense, critical outlook that shaped my working life. I feel so much happier when I succeed and then I read something in the media and it comes creeping back. 2 steps forward and 1 step back is still progress though.
Hi Caree. I count myself pretty lucky because I know that my default is that optimistic, forward thinking, positive way of looking at things. But I do have to rein myself in now and then and be honest with both myself and the world that not everything is sunshine and lollipops all the time. As you say, “2 steps forward and 1 step back” is a dance. Of course I do love dancing 😉 ~Kathy
I’m not so sure I agree with Mr. Grant about throwing out all our preconceived ideas regarding right or wrong. and starting fresh. In fact, I believe if we all just did what our mothers told us to do, no questions asked, we’d probably be better off. But I DO agree that we should give other people the benefit of the doubt and allow for the possibility that they may know more than we do. Good reminder!
Hi Tom! Actually, Adam Grant didn’t say that directly…those were my words based upon what I heard and as we all know, our hearing and our seeing is pretty subjective. But he definitely believes that far too often we can’t learn or create anything new when we approach it from a preconceived point of view. And I confess one of my other favorite quotes is one from Rumi that goes, “Out beyond right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” ~Kathy
I couldn’t agree more. Preconceived notions can cause you to miss out on what makes each person you meet individual and unique. I love the idea of living each day as if it’s the first day of the rest of your life. Very uplifting and inspiring way to end the week. Thanks, Kathy!
Hi Debbie! Thanks. I need to keep reminding myself of this over and over and like I say A LOT, most of my blog post or ideas are something I am learning or NEED to be reminded of. I’m glad you also found it helpful. ~Kathy
I agree that most people are basically good and we’d be much happier humans if we gave each other the benefit of the doubt. It’s been hard the past 12 months, between the pandemic and the politics, but I am seeing signs of positive change. Thank you for your hopeful post!
I’m glad that I know you publish on Fridays because I didn’t get an email today (should I re-subscribe?).
Hi Janis! Yes isn’t it challenging sometimes to remind ourselves of something many of us believe–“That people are basically good?” That’s why Adam’s quote spoke to me as something new to remind myself of.
And thanks for letting me know you didn’t get your email…did you check your spam? I know it went out to everyone cuz I can see the stats but I will definitely check out MailChimp to see if it was on my end? Anyone else have that same problem???? ~Kathy
Yep… that’s where it was! I have switched from Yahoo to Outlook and, apparently Outlook is a lot more diligent about quarantining “bulk” mail. Hopefully I’ve let them know that you are on my approved list 🙂
Hi Janis! Oh good. I thought it might be that. Makes you wonder what other things you might miss now that your email has changed???? ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – I love this positive, open, rethinking, ‘what if’ approach. I especially like, “what if we threw out all our preconceived ideas about right or wrong and started fresh?” During the past year, I have especially noted so many people criticizing others for not completely adhering to local pandemic rules….when they weren’t completely adhering to them either. (Yes, this includes me). I believe that this ‘What If” question can lead to many thought-provoking discoveries.
Thank you for sharing this.
Hi Donna! I agree that this past year has offered us all a wonderful chance to look at our triggers and biases in ways that we might never have done if not locked at home! For those of us into self-awareness there is more to discover but frankly I’m looking forward to just appreciate the experience of being with people and seeing new sites for a change!!! And I’ll bet (know) you are too! ~Kathy
Yes Kathy, most people are good and kind. I know I can change so others can also. We are moving forward to new and different (better).
Hi Gary! I like that thought you offer, “I know I can change so others can also.” Of course not necessarily when or how we want them too…but having hope in the possible is important for us all! ~Kathy