Dad learning to hula in Hawaii.
Remember back when you were a teenager and every thing that you did was either the beginning or the ending of the Universe as you knew it? The angst, the drama, the excitement, the thrill of life is usually never more vivid than during that time of such strong feelings and emotions. But as I shared in a previous post, I’ve had a couple of challenging weeks and it occurred to me over the weekend that I was severely “fun deprived.” In fact, it was four in the afternoon and I couldn’t even remember if I’d laughed once, let alone cracked a smile. That’s the exact opposite of feeling passionately alive.
Fortunately that is a rarity in my life—but then I started wondering if one reason so many of us struggle with drugs, alcohol, gambling, over-eating, over-consumption, over-working or over-anything, that we are trying to fill the huge void of a passionless life. That, or we start using safety, comfort or control as primary pursuits and then wonder why our lives are bland and without color or distinction. Either way, it’s likely a big sign that many of us are out of touch with our feelings, so much so that we’ve become emotionally numb to feelings of joy and happiness in any visceral way.
A great example of how out-of-touch most of us are with our emotions comes from the work of Abraham-Hicks. I have been following this teaching for the greater part of a year and one thing that I appreciate is the emphasis on how we are feeling in any moment. Abraham asks constantly, “How did that thought make you feel?” Abraham believes that if we are feeling happy, peaceful, passionate and alive then our actions and thoughts are in alignment with our goals and dreams—and we are deeply connected to our souls. On the flip side, if we are angry, depressed, or unhappy for any reason, then we are out of resonance with our spirit and our actions and our “vibration” are contrary to our highest good.
What I find fascinating is when Abraham talks with individuals and the question about feelings come up, many of the individuals are so out of touch they don’t even know how to answer. Instead of saying I feel such-and-such, many will say something like, “Well I thought I should be….” Or they offer some sort of excuse saying, “I was doing all the right things….” Obviously, many of us spend so much time in our head (guilty!) or stay so busy “doing” things (guilty again!) that we’ve forgotten how to feel. Then we wonder why our day has slipped away and we’ve felt nothing much except rundown, exhausted and just plain sad.
So when I started thinking (yes there’s that thinking part of me) about the best ways to encourage people to live passionately—I was tempted to come up with a list of “To Do’s. Instead it will probably be more helpful to share with you the times and experiences that make me feel the most alive and passionate, with the hope that they might remind you of your own list. Here are times when I feel deep positive emotion:
- When I am in awe of natural beauty;
- Dancing with wild abandon;
- Laughing so hard I can’t stop;
- Making love with my husband;
- Mentally intrigued by a fascinating topic;
- Experiencing a physical thrill (skydiving, roller coasters);
- Relating intimately with another who is experiencing deep joy, authenticity or pain;
- At the completion of project or intention that was challenging but highly desired;
- Connecting deeply to the Divine both within and outside of me in any moment.
What about you? Ultimately it doesn’t really matter what makes me feel alive and passionate, what matters is if you know what does that for you. Something else I find useful is listening to certain music or reading the poetry from a few poets I admire. Here are three of my favorite poets and their poems as well as their thoughts on living passionately alive:
When Death Comes by Mary Oliver
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it’s over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.
Sweet Darkness by David Whyte
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds except
the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the
sweet confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool for love,
for your dream,
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon.
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own,
without moving to hide it,
or fade it,
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy,
mine or your own;
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful, be realistic,
remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure,
yours and mine,
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
‘Yes.’
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.
I know it isn’t always easy to stay positive and excited about our lives when we are going through challenging times. I have my less-than-good days just like everyone else. But what is the alternative? I don’t believe we are here to suffer or live a life of tedium. And like an old teacher of mine once said, “If you are going through hell, don’t stop and build a condo!” Instead, Abraham-Hicks encourages us to think of our emotions as a gauge or meter that alerts us to when we are in the flow of life and love, or when we are struggling against the very fabric of the Universe. And remember that mediocrity, boredom and depression are not indications of good flow!
I usually try to avoid telling others what to think, and prefer letting each of us come to our own conclusions. But one thing I am certain of is that we weren’t born to this world to clock-in-hours of painful or drab existence until our time to pass comes upon us. Instead I believe that it is SMART for each of us to express and experience the unique and special nature that we all possess—to share it abundantly with others—and to live passionately awake and aware as much as we are able. Oh yeah…and don’t forget to laugh.
I love love….. the poems! Beautiful scenery takes my breath away and laughter is my antidote. Let’s keep our spirits alive by also looking out for the good in the bad and being present in the NOW.
Hi Agric! Yes, aren’t those poems special. It sounds like you are an optimistic person like me. Being able to see the good NO MATTER WHAT is a big gift. ~Kathy
I just loved your post and the poems you have shared. Smiling and laughing I agree is important to feel alive and seeing that there is meaning to our lives. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Sherill! Glad you like the poems. As I mentioned they are definitely among my favorites. Whatever you have planned today, make sure you including some laughter and happiness! ~Kathy
Life is a choice, it has so much to offer, we may go through a lot of adversities but using the lessons gained from this adversities will help us walk through the path to success. We only have one life to live, enjoy, be passionate and be happy. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Lynne! Yes! I agree that we all have challenges and adversities but as long as we keep them in a positive perspective we can learn from them and go on in a new empowered way. To me that is so much more empowering than believing we are victims of circumstances and just must struggle and endure whatever pops up in our life. It really does come down to what we fundamentally believe is our purpose here. And I guess it’s obvious about what I believe. Thanks for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
Thank you very much for being part of the synchronicity, Kathy!
Yes, I like Abraham-Hicks too. Thanks for the wonderful tip.
“If you are going through hell, don’t stop and build a condo!”
Priceless. Adding that to my repertoire! It all comes down to attitude, doesn’t it? Everyone suffers. How you react to that is up to you. Excellent post! Thank you, Kathy!
Hi Diane! Nice to hear from you. And don’t you love that quote? I can’t tell you how many times that made me stop complaining for feeling sorry for myself. ~Kathy
“The good news is that there are those out there reading both of our blogs that are encouraged by our words and our example and that is certainly what we hope to achieve.” – Agreed!!
“And sorry about the “too much information” !!! 🙂 However, I did just read your blog post about balance and being passionate with those you love fits right in there! ” – Ya got me there 🙂
Take care and all the best.
Lyle
Thank you so much for a wonderful post Kathy. There are so many points that resonate within me, but these two seem to hit the top of the list:
“If you are going through hell, don’t stop and build a condo!” – I love this quote and it made me laugh. Oh…and for the record…I’m not a fan of condos 🙂
“But one thing I am certain of is that we weren’t born to this world to clock-in-hours of painful or drab existence until our time to pass comes upon us.” – Wonderfully stated Kathy, but sadly, I know more than few people who feel the opposite of your statement. And no matter what I say or do, there’s no changing their mind-set!
I also liked your passion list but found #4 to be “too much information”! Just kidding. I’m glad that you and Thom still have that kind of passion for deep connection 🙂
Take care Kathy and my best to all.
Lyle
Hi Lyle! Glad you liked the post. And I’m glad I introduced you to a funny new quote about hell 🙂 But you are so right that no matter what you or I say on our blogs there will people bound and determined to experience both unhappiness AND/OR a life of bland mediocrity. The good news is that there are those out there reading both of our blogs that are encouraged by our words and our example and that is certainly what we hope to achieve.
And sorry about the “too much information” !!! 🙂 However, I did just read your blog post about balance and being passionate with those you love fits right in there! ~Kathy
Lovely, thought provoking post. Indeed it is easy to find oneself a bit down, esp. with what is going on all around us and the time of year. Shorter days, the rain is moving in, etc. In dealing with my partner’s extended illness, I learned that no matter how bad it may seem there is always someone who is much worse off. So – suck it up, so to speak. There were many times I would walk into that hospital, miserable and angry I had to be dealing with all this, and I would pass someone much worse. A young man completely broken by some sort of accident, or an older couple, one damaged by stroke, the other so bewildered. I always try and remember – you never know how much that person at the next table in the coffee shop is hurting; so always be kind to those around you.
Hi Joslyn! Thank you so much for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. You are so right that we all have challenging times but it is always SMART to find ways to switch our focus towards those things that lift both our spirit and our mind. I agree that when we see others around the world who have struggles worse than our own it definitely helps us to remember the good in our own. And yes, I think sending out kindness to others creates more of the same in our world. Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
Thanks Kathy!! I’ve been in the process of simplifying my life and my business the last couple of years, so that’s definitely helping, too.
Hi Patty! Yes, I so agree that simplifying your life and getting rid of those things that drag us down can definitely help us feel more alive. Good for you on your path. ~Kathy
I loved the list of things that made you feel passionately alive. I sometimes forget how joyful dancing, working toward a goal, laughing and learning make me feel. Those are the thoughts that I will take with me to bed tonight. Thank you.
b+
Hi b+ Glad to hear you found my list inspiring and that it helped you remember some things that make you feel alive as well. I’ll bet if you think about it you could come up with even more. The gift of life is so amazing in so many ways so it is good for all of us to remind each other as much as possible. ~Kathy
Loved the poetry. Such a terrific idea but sometimes so hard to practice. Mine are still evolving but I am loving the ride.
Hi Rena! Hey, as long as you are enjoying the ride how can that not be headed in the right direction. The beauty of it all is that we are all so very different so what makes one person feel vibrant, alive and purposeful is going to be different for each of us. The challenge is jus to do it. Glad you liked the poetry. There is something about it that really inspires me and I’m happy to share it. ~Kathy
Great post, Kathy. I have found myself sad and dispirited lately, I think largely due to the sadness in our world right now. Sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees!
Hi Helen! I think it is so important for us all to take a moment and really stop and feel what we’re feeling. It’s so very easy to get busy and caught up in our own lives–and then do as you say and see the sadness around in the world–and forget that our seriousness doesn’t really help all that even with the best of intentions. I personally believe that happy and balanced people are more helpful and compassionate than those who are deeply stressed or troubled. I just have to remember to stay that way. Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy
Absolutely! Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: “We aren’t on Earth to be happy, but to experience incredible things.” — Marisha Pessl, Special Topics in Calamity Physics
Hi Tom! That’s a great quote by Marisha Pessl, although I think it depends upon how we define happiness. If you equate happiness with a deep sense of wellbeing, contentment and purpose then it becomes much more than mere temporary giddiness. Experiencing incredible things is certainly something that brings me that kind of happiness. Thanks for your comment! ~Kathy
Funny you should post this now, Kathy. 😉
I’ve been working so hard, for so long, to transform my own suffering and to see reality as it is, that I kind of forgot how to have fun. I’ve not felt like I was *there* enough to just live.
Last night, I was overthinking, and then I randomly ended up going to the store and buying red hair dye! What a surprise that was for everyone! And then today we bought a Grandama-tastic $200 Lincoln Towncar. That will take us 1300 miles for Christmas!
It’s so easy to forget to just enjoy life.
Hey Bethany! I know you are a deep thinker too so I’m not surprised to hear you’ve been spending a lot of time in your head lately. I’m sure your red hair and new car will go a looong way to helping you feel a little lighter. I’m making plans for Halloween and plan to be a little wild and crazy myself. Let’s report back. 🙂 ~Kathy
It’s true, we are in our heads SO much. I am especially “fond” of that. My mind is incredibly strong, so I have to actively work at exercising my spirit. Part of that is definitely becoming aware of language, e.g., saying “I think” instead of stopping and getting right into the solar plexus area and responding from a sense of feeling. I sometimes even put my hands on my belly to “retrain” and redirect my response.
I’m happy to say that I attended a fantastic conference in Vancouver on Monday (part of the Women in Biz Network, founded by Leigh Mitchell), and I reconnected with my passion in a big way. I’m feeling much more in flow this week!
Hi Laura! I love that idea of connecting to your solar plexus by putting your focus (and maybe even your hands) and grounding yourself in feeling. That’s powerful. Did you learn about that at the conference? Plus just being around active and supportive women would sure help to inspire just about any of us! Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Very timely post for me as well. Recently, my daughter said to me, ‘you need to have more fun.’ And she’s totally right! While the story is a long one and I’m in major transition right now (in a really good way!), it’s still not easy and I still have my days. One thing I did yesterday was to pick up a couple of pretty, girly journals and am starting a daily gratitude and fun journal. It’s easy to get sucked in to all the distressing news out there in the world. We have to make an intentional effort to be in gratitude and to have more fun.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Patty! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. Your daughter’s message reminds me of what a girlfriend told me one day. I had asked her when the last time she felt really happy about something and she said it was when she learned from the doctor that her baby-to-be was a girl. And that had been 18 years in the past!!!!! Yikes! I told her what your daughter told you–“you need to have more fun!” Please PLEASE don’t wait as long as my friend. And I think you are taking the right steps–writing about gratitude definitely helps to lift my mood. But let’s never forget to do what feels FUN to us on a regular basis! ~Kathy
Great post, Kathy. It really gave me a lift. I would like to know more about the teachings of this Abraham-Hicks. Humor helps me cope. Chocolate works well too and since I live in the land of chocolate, I can never be down for long.
Hi Pat! Thank you for saying this gave you a lift. I just read YOUR post and as you say, there are things we can do when going through challenging times and reading inspiring poetry is definitely one of them. Oh, and I so-o-o agree that chocolate is right up there at the top of my list too!!! ~Kathy
I consider Oriah a friend, and she is also an amazing, inspirational writer and person. So glad to see The Invitation here.
Hi Carol! I haven’t seen too much of Oriah out and about these days so I hope she is well. YES she is VERY inspirational and I’m hoping I introduced her work to lots of others who may not be familiar with her. I first found this poem when I REALLY needed it so I’m hoping it finds the right people in the right time as well. ~Kathy
I think you hit on the key to what’s been happening in society at large. We, collectively, are so numbed by life we escape through television, food and our gadgets instead of connecting through neighborhood gatherings, family picnics and dropping by to visit a friend The disconnection is being felt by so many yet they aren’t sure what is missing in their lives. Have you read Bowling Alone? Great book that looks at how we have left behind the connections we used to have by belonging to groups. Anyway, how I feel really alive is multidimensional. I feel alive when I have a purpose whether that is helping another, restoring my old house, or just spending time with the children passing on my knowledge while I get to laugh and re-experience the fun of being a child through them.
Hi Lois! Yes, I’m sure that everything you mention is contributing to our sense of loneliness, isolation and disconnection in our world today. That’s one thing I so appreciated during our recent trip to Mexico. So many of them have so very little but you can tell that they haven’t forgotten what is ultimately important in their core beings.
And thank you for sharing what makes you feel so alive!!! May we all find those places for ourselves! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy!
„We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.” -Joseph Campbell –
Overflowing with joy right now! Your wonderful article was perfectly timed for me.
Guess which book I am reading right now. „Ask and It is Given.“ 🙂
I’ve just fininshed „The Power of Intention“ by Dr. Dyer (Wow, what a masterpiece), and he mentioned Esther and Jerry Hicks. So, here I am, feeling pretty alive right now.
Thanks for sharing such amazing poems.
Your fan from Germany 🙂
Hi Gosina! I LOVE that quote by Josephy Campbell (and yeah I love him too.) I’m glad my post helped to remind you of things you already know deep down inside. And isn’t it great how synchronicity works too? Both “Ask & It is Given” and “The Power of Intention” are great books. I listen to a LOT of Abraham-Hicks from Youtube. When I walk every day I have them on my iphone and it’s a wonderful way to spend 2 miles. Check it out if you like that too. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy – a thoughtful article and a little pick-me-up because I’ve been down with a cold and thinking about people I know who are much sicker than myself, and consequently about death and the legacy we leave.
You included 3 of my favorite poets in the world, thank you!
Hi Annette! Thank you for stopping by SMART Living 365 and sharing your thoughts. And I’m REALLY happy I was able to brighten your day and help remind you of the gift of being alive. And yes, aren’t Mary Oliver, David Whyte and Oriah Mountain Dreamer wonderful. I never tire of their poems. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
This is such a fantastic thought! Feeling alive! Yes, those moments become special!
Listening to the music I love, wandering near snow capped mountains with a companion who can love passionately makes me feel alive. Sitting in the midst of a forest with all the modern amenities, when I return to my room, (the place we often visited) dancing with abandon, with loving friends has also given me those moments of joy you have discussed here. I am like that ‘Mountain Dreamer’ who would like to go into fire!!
Thanks for sharing heart touching post and poems. I love that perfect laughing picture with your friends!
Hi Balroop! I’m glad you liked the post about feeling alive! Thank you for sharing all of your many moments with us all. They are indeed special. And I hope my smiling photos brought a smile to your face as well. ~Kathy
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had a rough couple of weeks. Can’t believe I didn’t pick up on that! This post was an excellent reminder that we can’t choose our circumstance, but we can choose how we react to it. I hope today saw you dancing with abandon (and making love to Thom!) and laughing lots and lots!
Cheers,
Nancy
Hi Nancy! Things are definitely looking up AND I do plan to include EVERYTHING on my list at least once this weekend. 🙂 Wishing you the same for whatever is on your list too! ~Kathy
Life should be more than a series of stressful moments strung together ad infinitum. Life should be a joyous journey of adventure and discovery.
Hi Nancy R! Yes and YES! “Life should be more than a series of stressful moments strung together ad infinitum. Life should be a joyous journey of adventure and discovery.” I think you and I are on the same page about this for sure! ~Kathy
Very inspiring, Kathy! Humor is a huge thing that helps me get through the darker times. Nature always takes me out of sad thoughts and puts a smile on my face. We have to have the lows to feel the highs. Lovely poetry, thank you for sharing!
Hi Lisa! Glad to hear this helped you remember what you already KNOW 🙂 And yes, isn’t humor AND nature so important. And glad you also liked the poetry. Although I’m no poet I’ve always appreciated it when a writer can express such emotion in so few a words! ~Kathy
Our ‘Life Spirit’ is precious -*- yet it can slip away these days … and the absence can almost go unnoticed. I make it easier to simply enjoy life, yet it has taken me decades to fully realize what it is that I offer. Thanks for your reminder -*- to keep one’s Spirit alive -*->
Hi Jay! Thanks for joining the conversation. Yes, I agree that remembering the preciousness of our Life Spirit is so very important–and yeah, if we aren’t paying attention we can forget it is even there. And while it certainly took me a while to discover its important–thank goodness we did! ~Kathy
Kathy, These lessons are exactly the ones I have been intensely learning this year! You expressed the essence in this post…and I love, LOVE, the poems. Thank you!
Hi Nancy! Don’t you just love synchronicity? It is so awesome to have the things we need and want show up in the most amazing ways. And I’m so glad you like these poems too. They continue to inspire me no matter how many times I read or hear them. ~Kathy