In 2015 I turn 60. Yep. I was born in 1955 and that means I, along with a bunch of other people I know, will turn 60 during the coming year. But rather than lament the event, I intend to celebrate all year long. Then when I heard from a fellow blogger about the idea of 60-FOR-60, I decided to take it on as a way to commemorate this important milestone. I’ll explain the details a bit further but regardless your age, you too can participate. But first, in order to achieve this goal or intention, I returned to a book I read last year that offers some great reminders about how every one of us, 60 or not, can achieve their goals in the coming year.
The book I am referring to is Succeed—How We Can Reach Our Goals by Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. But don’t let the title put you off. I think the word goal has been so widely used and abused that I really don’t care for it. Instead I prefer to think of those things I want to achieve in the future as my intentions. Intentions mean that I have preferences that I want to aim for, plan for or practice a process to experience in the coming days. While there are similarities, going for goals seems to be primarily about the end result. Intentions on the other hand, embrace the process and leave the door open to all sorts of possibilities on the way to the result. Some believe that setting a goal is all about the “brain” while setting an intention is a whole body, (heart and soul included) process. Either way, learning how to experience the journey is a valuable way to go.
With that in mind, here are some valuable insights that I believe the book by Halvorson offers each of us in terms of how we all typically approach goals and intentions.
#1 Be specific. For anyone who is familiar with the practice of SMART goals, this one is primary. While SMART can have several different meanings, being specific about what it is you want to experience or achieve is an important intention anyway you define it.
#2 Make it challenging but realistic. Halvorson offers plenty of science to prove that in order to make progress toward anything we want to achieve we must make it difficult, but not completely unrealistic. Why? Because facing challenges actually motivates us. Finding that sweet spot of both challenge and feasibility is critical to both motivate us and keep us in the game.
#3 Think why or what. Halvorson offers some amazing information in her book about the “whys” and the “what’s.” Basically she says that thinking about why we want to do something energizes and motivates us. On the other hand, thinking what helps us to deal with something unfamiliar, difficult or that takes a long time to learn. Knowing the difference helps us approach our intentions in the most helpful way.
#4 Consider value and feasibility. Thinking about why we want to do something works really well for distant future goals. For example, my 60-FOR-60 intention will be something I can do all next year so what I want to do is stay motivated and excited about it as long as possible. On the other hand, things I need to get done today (or very soon) like write this blog post needs to be addressed from a what perspective. Value and desirability relate to the why behind our intentions. Feasibility is all about the what in the here and now.
# 5 Think positive but don’t underestimate. Halvorson is convinced that in order to achieve anything we must be “positive” about it. However, she is equally clear that we must never underestimate the challenges and difficulties we will face on the path. She actually recommends that we approach our intentions using the practice of mental contrasting. Mental contrasting suggest that you consider both the great things that will happen if you succeed while equally considering the obstacles you will find on the path. Halverson says, “…when people who believe they can succeed are instructed to use the strategy of mental contrasting when setting their goals, they routinely outperform those who are equally confident but who thoughts are all about imagining the happy ending.”
# 6 When the goal is easy, choose be-good goals. Several months ago I wrote about the difference between be-good and get-better. A be-good goal is really a performance goal and when we pick one that we are familiar with and feel is easily within our grasp. we will have plenty of confidence and optimism along the way. A be-good goal helps us remember everything we will gain from the process.
#7 If you are procrastinating or can’t see the big picture go for the “why” or prevention goal. Why goals help to motivate us so they are a great remedy for procrastination. And as I covered in a previous post about prevention vs. promotion goals, a prevention goal makes us focus on what we could lose and that “fear of loss” can serve as an equally strong motivation to act immediately.
#8 When the goal is hard or unfamiliar be specific about what you want to achieve. Thinking about what actually needs to be done to accomplish something helps when we are faced with something challenging or difficult to learn. It also helps to believe that we can always “get-better” no matter what we are facing.
#9 When you need speed, choose gain-focused promotion goals.
#10 When you need accuracy, choose loss-focused prevention goals.
#11 When you want to be creative choose promotion-goals. And never forget that feelings of autonomy fuel creativity.
#12 And finally, when you want genuine and long-lasting happiness, choose goals related to connection, competence and autonomy. Instead of pursuing outer-directed goals like fame, prestige and money, according to Halverson, these inner-directed goals are the only real path to true happiness.
So what is 60-FOR-60? For the coming year I intend to experience 60 brand-new-never-before-tried experiences and things. Interested? Why don’t you join me no matter what your age in 2015? It doesn’t really matter what is on my list (or yours) but what matters is the intention to experience a set number of things that are new and unique, and use some of the tips I mention above to help us do it. As the year progresses I will be writing more about it.
Hopefully the above suggestions will help all of us as we make 2015 both a year to remember AND a year we achieve our intentions. Now you know what I’m intending for 2015—what about you?
One of your commenters said you are not old until you are 75. Well I will soon be 75, but I just look at that as an opportunity to do 75-for-75.
Hi Judy! YES!!!! I think a 75-for-75 is an awesome idea! Let me know if you get started and any thoughts you have along the way. Let’s make 2015 the best year ever!!! ~Kathy
Great way to celebrate this important milestone. Good luck! (I was told that I couldn’t post this comment because it didn’t contain enough words, so I’m adding this parenthetical. Hopefully it’ll push me up over the word minimum.)
Hi Roz! Thanks for taking the time to add a few more words. I was getting a few too many spam emails so Comment Luv recommended a “word count” to fend some of them off. Thanks for adding a few and for stopping by! ~Kathy
Great post. Great idea. Don’t think I can come up with 60 new things but you never know, maybe I’ll at least do 53 in 53?
Hey Jacqueline. Thanks for leaving a comment. And yes, 53-for-53 is as good as 60-for-60. It’s all in the stretch. 🙂 ~Kathy
I accept your challenge Kathy for 60 new and different things in my 60th year. I need to do less and say no more while stick relaxing and having fun. Stay tuned.
YAY GARY! You are the first one who has told me for sure you are jumping on board with the 60-For-60!! I have started making a list of things that I know for sure I want to experience–and I hope to leave open spots for things that just happen to spontaneously present themselves. Please let me know for sure what you are planning. ~Kathy
I’m now firmly in my 60s and have been thinking about goals. So happy happy birthday and may you have a ball achieving your intentions! Because that’s what it’s about, right?
Hi Carol! Happy New Year to you and thanks for your good wishes for my birthday year! And yes, having fun and sharing the joy will be a BIG intention. ~Kathy
Me too! I’ll be 60 in April, and I figure I’ll have most of my 60 new experiences as we build our new home. Heck, I’ve never done most of what we’re doing now!
Here’s to the BEST of new years for the both of us! -Laura
Hi Laura Lee! Congratulations on your birthday too! We should get together and party (Mine is in May!) And yes I agree that you’ll have 60 new experiences with just your house, but it would be fun to sort of mix them up don’t you think? I’ve got some ideas if you need them 😉
And YES to the BEST of new years for the both of us! ~Kathy
I’m very much an intentions person, and also a “how do I want to feel?” person. I’m actually going to be facilitating Desire Map workshops in 2015, that’s how much I believe that our feelings are the key indicators of whether our goals are good goals for us. We set goals for so many different reasons, but how many of them really relate back to who we are and how we want to feel? Also, more and more, I measure with the “three-foot toss.” BHAG’s are great, but so are the incremental accomplishments.
Happy 2015, Kathy!
Hi Laura! Happy New Year! And thank you for pointing out how much valuable information we can find in our feelings. As you say, they can definitely tell us what is “good” for us, especially as opposed to what we think (or what others think) might be good for us. And I also agree with how important to take those baby steps on our way to our dreams. In fact, most of the progress is that tiny incremental accomplishments that in the end add up to the BHAGs! Thanks for the reminders and I look forward to seeing where you go in 2015 as well! ~Kathy
a great cause to boot! Certainly one of the things I will be doing this year is find at least one new charity to support–but it could be fun to do 60 new charities and support them in ways like this guy did
Hi Jatin! Welcome to SMART Living and thank you for commenting. YES…wouldn’t 60 great charities be a lovely way to go? But honestly, I believe anything done with intention and purpose would be life enhancing. Give it a try. ~Kathy
60 for 60 sounds amazing, Kathy! Congrats on that milestone. You look fabulous and obviously feel it too. Great tips for the start of a New Year…thanks for those!
Hi Lisa and Happy New Year! Yes I am REALLY looking forward to my 60-for-60 project this year. If you have any cool ideas for me please share them. And my 2015 be AWESOME for us all!
Happy Birthday! I like the 60 for 60 comcept. I so agree on asking the why for setting goals or defining intentions. I believe that is where the drive is, which we can forget when we are distracted and happens to me more often than I would like. 🙂 Hope you have a wonderful new year!
Hi Raquel! Happy New Year and welcome to SMART Living. Yes, isn’t it so easy to get distracted by life away from our goals and intentions if we aren’t clear about them. We just spent the last week with dear friends who I love to pieces but they are so unorganized. I would by far rather spend my time focusing on my dreams that just reacting and playing catchup all the time. 60-for-60 will be my way of making sure 2015 is AMAZING! Thanks again for coming by and leaving a comment. ~Kathy
“brand-new-never-before-tried-experiences”? Maybe, maybe not. I’ve gotten very used to my comfort zone. It would depend very much on the experience, whether or not I give it a go.
Good luck with your 60-for-60.
Hey river! Happy New Year! But don’t you see that one of the best ways to tackle 60-For-60 is to do what experience feels right to you. Of course I do like to challenge myself past my comfort zone but there are still loads of things you can do that only push it a bit 🙂 ~Kathy
I like your take on setting intentions vs. goals. Thanks for sharing these tips! I’m excited to hear more about your sixtieth year intentions. I always say, “you’re not old until you’re 75.” I want each year to be better than the one before and I try not to dwell too much on feeling “old” too early!
Hi Michelle! Happy New Year! I’m glad you found some of my tips helpful. So many of them I think most of us “know” but it sure helps to be reminded. And yes, I’m happy to say I’ve heard that thing about not even thinking we’re old these days till we hit 75–and by the time I do then maybe that number will change again! 🙂 I’ve ALWAYS felt that a person is as old as they think they are so I’m really just hitting what many call middle age!!! And my 60-for-60 is just a great excuse to try a bunch of new things! Thanks for stopping by and happy travels in 2015! ~Kathy
I would love to get together! And, our first face-to-face can qualify for one of your 60-for-60s (and one of my 59-for-59s)!
GREAT! I’ll let you know when we plan something down your direction and you let me know if you have anything planned up our way. Let’s make it happen for sure!!!
Yes, I know and I’m tickled that you’ve adopted this idea, which I got from a couple, both turning 60 and celebrating a long marriage by doing these things together!
It seems to me that planning and being intentional is part of the process-what’s missing, what have I been afraid to try, what does my life need right now, what will counter the “60 is old mentality” (not mine but others), what would really stretch me? What might fill a hole in my life? For example, learning to play bridge would give me new activities/friends…
And, with such a large number–60 things– it might be easier to let some things just come up and add them to the list. So, for me it’s going to be a mix of both.
Hi Walker! Thanks for more info here about the 60-for-60. I will be “borrowing” them when I write my post down the road for sure 🙂 And yes, the good thing is that Thom and I do most things together so many of these he’ll be doing along with me. I do agree that it helps a marriage by doing so much together. For example, something we’ve BOTH wanted to do for a very long time is experience a “float tank”. We’ve talked about it for years and just never planned it. This year we will both be doing it! Thanks again for all your thoughts on this. I look forward to reading about how the remainder of your year goes as well. ~Kathy
Looking forward to following your 60 things. I’ve upped my list to include about 34 things…some accomplished, some in planning stages and plenty of opportunities to seize the moment. My word for 2015 is YES, so I’m making myself open to possibilities, even beyond the 60 year mark, which is August for me.
Hi Walker! Happy New Year! And you know that I got this idea from you of course. THANK YOU 🙂 My actual birthday is May but I’m taking the ENTIRE 2015 to enjoy it so I’ve got loads of time. Any tips? I have started a list of things I know for sure I “want” to do that have about 20+ on it. But then there is lots of room for “possibilities” as you say. Now that it’s here I realize that it is going to be REALLY easy for me merely to experience new enjoyable things so does my list have to be things I anticipate in advance or can they just be spontaneous happenings? Any advice you can share is most welcome! ~Kathy
Oh Kathy, with my re-entry into the corporate world, in a demanding position, my hunt for a new home (given I’ll be homeless in 3 months), and a renewed commitment to daily exercise… I think I’ve bit off more than enough for the start of 2015! 🙂
I love this idea! 2015 will be the last year that I will be in my 50s so it’s a milestone of sorts for me too! I think that I will strive for 59-for-59 because I want to stretch myself as much as possible in 2015… and beyond. Will you be updating us on your 60 intentions as you check them off your list?
Hey Janis! Happy New Year….oh yes, I think you should do a 59 for 59. That will really get people wondering and I LOVE to do that! 🙂 And yes I have already started at list and have about 20+ things on it. Once I have a more complete list I will be writing about it throughout the year. And yes, let’s you and me get together at least once or twice throughout the year? ~Kathy
I love that list. It’s fail proof! 🙂 When I set a goal I always keep in mind that it has to be sustainable in the long run. I’m forming a habit, not falling for a short lived fad. Nice post!
Hi Happiness Savoured Hot! Happy 2015! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living! And what a fun name for a blog you have. Yes, happiness should be passionate and engaged for both ourselves and sharing with others. May we all fulfill our dreams and intentions in the coming year and make them habits to enjoy for the rest of our lives. Thanks for your comment! ~Kathy
Ah! I turn 50 this year so I kind of know the feeling, Kathy. There’s so much I want to do this year, but mostly I want to be ME! Does that make sense? 🙂
Hi Corinne! Happy New Year. And why don’t you consider doing 50 for 50???? And yes, it can be all about YOU! I really believe that when we are happy, content and living passionately we are actually so much more pleasant and helpful to others that it is good to remember to take care of ourselves. As they say on the airlines, make sure you put on your own oxygen mask before helping others! ~Kathy
Happy Birthday Kathy! I am looking forward to seeing you achieve your intentions. You are an inspiration. My BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) is to launch my Reinvention Coaching Practice and Speaking opportunities. This will take focus, intention and a clear plan. The hardest thing for me is promoting myself. I’m going to work on getting over that this year without being obnoxious of course.
Hi Mary! Happy New Year to you and the very best wishes for your intentions this year. Good for you for putting it out there that you want to launch a Reinvention Coaching Practice and Speaking opportunities. You will be awesome at both of them. I look forward to seeing it unfold as the year progresses. ~Kathy
Sounds like a great plan for a successful 60th year. I like #12 a lot because it is realistic and achievable. A friend of mine who is a big walker, took his birthday year to walk in charity walks at least once a month held on a Sunday. He learned about lots of causes and met lots of people and has enough T shirts for life. He said it cost him about the same as he would donate yet many more benefits than he ever anticipate. I won’t be doing that but I like the idea and making a yearly achievable goal, like you are suggesting.
Hi Haralee! I love that idea that you shared. What a FUN way to do something that is so healthy AND a great cause to boot! Certainly one of the things I will be doing this year is find at least one new charity to support–but it could be fun to do 60 new charities and support them in ways like this guy did. Thanks for sharing and Happy New Year! ~Kathy
Happy pending birthday, Kathy! And cheers to 60 new things in 2015. sounds like a wonderful plan!
Hi Nancy! Happy New Year to you! And thanks for the birthday wishes..:-) I’m obviously accepting them all YEAR long so your the first one so far. I am looking forward to all 60 of my intentions and they will be fun and interesting (at least for me) and I’ll be sharing them as I go. What about you? I know you aren’t near 60 yet but why not pick your age number and go for it! ~Kathy