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7 Signs of Real Abundance

By Kathy Gottberg
Filed under: Aware, Thankful

SMART Living 365.com

My husband Thom and I recently spent some time talking with a young couple we know about the direction of their life. With one small child and hope for one more, they are considering moving to a larger home to give them all more space in a slightly more prestigious neighborhood. That certainly means larger mortgage payments, higher utility costs, more stuff, and a longer commute. Still, they seem convinced it would all be worth it. After all, isn’t that the American Dream—more, bigger, better? Thom and I kept our mouths shut because they appeared to want encouragement more than advice. Yet because I wish someone had tried to explain to a younger me that the dream we sought was not really a bigger house or more stuff, I thought I’d share what the joy of real abundance has come to mean to me after all these years.

Along the way, I’ve learned that real abundance has nothing to do with cash in the bank. It has nothing to do with expensive houses, cars or technology. There’s also no connection to fame, adulation and fortune, although there’s no rule against it. Instead, the approach to abundance that I’m learning to live by, more and more as life goes on, is one where I recognize and trust my connection and alignment with a benevolent Universe. Even if that doesn’t make much sense to you, just know that real abundance has nothing whatsoever to do with any feelings of fear, scarcity, lack or not-enoughness.

In fact, if you are feeling fear about your life, distrust of the Universe, or that there is never, ever enough of what you need to be happy and at peace, then no amount of money or stuff will make you feel real abundance. As Laurence Boldt says in his book, The Tao of Abundance, “…for most of us, the feeling of lack is not a result of a lack of things or material stuff. It is a sense of struggle and a lack of ease; a lack of energy; a feeling of powerlessness and blocked expression; a lack of harmony and connection in relationship; a lack of time to be, grow and relate; and a lack of opportunity to fully appreciate and celebrate the beauty in life—that gives a sense of deficiency to our existence.”

With that in mind, here are my seven signs that show what it’s like to live in real abundance:

1) Regularly enjoying a luxury of time.  I know lots of people who have a lot more money than I do, but often when I ask them about their lives, they are too busy to enjoy it. I’ll bet you do too. In our culture there is an obsession with working hard to prove our success. Unfortunately, even when you are successful you worry that you have to work even harder or you’ll lose it all.   Many slave away at jobs they detest for 20 to 30 years just so they can finally retire and enjoy themselves.

In contrast, Boldt says, “For the Taoists, leisure is the essence of abundance.” Anyone who doesn’t know how to take time to relax and regularly do nothing is firmly in the grasp of a scarcity mentality. Real luxury is not working like a maniac to take an expensive vacation—it is living a life you enjoy every day. Real abundance is embracing the moments of today as a precious gift filled with 24 hours that will never be repeated.

2) Freedom to navigate the course of our days. During our early-married life, I struggled with the idea that Thom and I didn’t fit the mold of what I thought defined success. Neither of us had a college degree or a prestigious occupation. There was no corporate ladder to climb even if we’d found one lying around. Instead, what I’ve since discovered is that our decision to be entrepreneurial was one of the greatest gifts we could give ourselves. It gave us the freedom to try out several paths that captured our interest. It allowed us to use our imagination to create opportunities where none existed before. Best of all, it gave us the freedom to live life doing what we love and to make choices based on the calling of our hearts.

3) Peace of mind. One of the easiest ways to spot someone who lives with a scarcity mentality is to listen to their conversations. Most of their talk is filled with fear, doubt and uncertainty about the economy, the government, their jobs, the future and just about everything else.   In contrast, Boldt says, “To live in abundance is to be fully alive, free of any sense of lack or desperation.”

Boldt offers a cute story about a man who leaves his small village and travels the world. When he returns, all the people of the village rush around him asking, “How is life out in the world?” The man says simply, “Same as here. It is good for those who know how to live.”

4) Living with meaning and purpose. Anyone who believes that their daily work is a calling, with an awareness of their unique purpose and meaning, lives abundantly every day. As Katharine Graham, former owner and publisher of the Washington Post said, “To love what you do and feel that it matters—how could anything be more fun?”

5) Deep connections to others. There are currently dozens of scientific studies, books and research papers that now prove that those who are happiest and live longest are those with supportive, loving and long-lasting relationships—partners, friends and community. Cultivating, protecting and honoring our relationships are keys to the priceless feeling of abundance in our lives.

6) An understanding of our place in the Universe. According to Boldt, the Taoists believe, “If you put yourself in accord with the way of the universe, it will take care of you abundantly.” While your view of your place in the Universe might be different than mine, as long as you rest in the belief of a loving and benevolent Source-Of-Being that wants good for you, you will experience a life of real abundance.

7) Deep gratitude for all the good you have.  As author Melody Beattie says, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

When you think about it, anyone who spends the hours of their days chasing after money, fame or power is really just a slave to the belief that there is only so much to go around. On the other hand, when we start recognizing the incredible abundance that makes up the world, we can start seeing ourselves surrounded by an abundance of love, creativity, ideas, opportunities, awareness, friends, beauty, happiness, fun and so, so much more.

I’m not sure what direction our young friends will take in their lives, but I hope they figure out that somewhere along the line the abundance they seek starts deep within. In the end, it’s SMART to remember that the path to real abundance is as Lao Tzu says, “When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

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49 Comments

Comments

  1. Kathy says

    April 8, 2015 at 5:52 PM

    I think you often get worried about stability and things when you become parents. You want the best for them and, above all, want to ensure they are fed, clothed and housed. If it’s just you and perhaps a partner, it’s far easier to feel abundance. I think that is why a lot of older people rediscover this once all the kids have left home and are doing well.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      April 9, 2015 at 2:56 PM

      Hi Kathy! I do agree that having children or others dependent upon you can challenge items like #1 and #2. But I still feel that so much of abundance is an inside job that with or without children you can manage the majority of it if you make it a priority. Obviously basic needs are essential for all of us, but once those basics are taken care of it the rest of it is really a choice. And maybe the best message we can demonstrate and pass on to those we love is one of peace, trust and gratitude for what we have and the life we have been given. Thanks as always for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy

      Reply
  2. Birgit says

    March 26, 2015 at 7:23 PM

    You speak so wisely and I wish more people could take this in and start living this way. I realize that I often have quality time and it may not be what others deem as quality but it is to me. I love the work I do and feel that I do help. Even if I was in a job that I would not love, there is always something positive to come from it. Fear is what we all grapple with and I think the media, ads, everything propels fear in us. It is hard to tone down fear but we must so we do not let panic dictate what we do. I wish people would be happier with a little less. Often we are happiest when we have little in stuff but allot in what really matters-family, friends, love of oneself

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 27, 2015 at 12:07 PM

      Hi Birgit! I’m glad this post resonated with you too! As you point out fear is a huge stumbling block when it comes to feeling happy and abundant. I’m so glad to hear that you have work that makes you happy and you feel is important–and that you have family, friends and are able to love yourself. It sounds to me that you live a very abundant life! ~Kathy

      Reply
  3. Linda Roy says

    March 23, 2015 at 2:26 PM

    e.e. cummings is one of my favorites and I love that quote. It’s so true. Fantastic that you quoted it!

    Reply
  4. Laura Zera says

    March 23, 2015 at 11:44 AM

    This is such an invaluable post. Why do we chase the things we chase? That is what has become so interesting to me. And as someone else pointed out, most people don’t believe the universe is benevolent. Nor do they believe humanity is benevolent — another challenge to shifting our thinking away from fear/scarcity and to connection/abundance.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 23, 2015 at 1:44 PM

      Hi Laura! I love that question: “why do we chase the things we chase?” Why indeed? I think if most of us take the time to answer that question it really does open up a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world we live in. And yes as you say, in many cases the answer for many people is clearly that they are afraid–afraid of other people, afraid of being out of control, afraid of aging, afraid of losing everything, afraid of the Universe, etc. etc. The challenge, IMHO is that even though I don’t buy into all the fear that is rampant in our world, it’s necessary to stay awake and aware and not fall “asleep” and forget it, or let others I know and care about influence me away from the state of peace that exists within. Having an inner life that is as vibrant, active and healthy as an “outer life” is likely one of the few ways to really stay true to feeling connected and abundant as much as possible. Thanks for adding this piece to the conversation. ~Kathy

      Reply
  5. Kimberly says

    March 23, 2015 at 11:19 AM

    Beautiful post. It’s important to stay focused on those things that really bring us happiness. Family, friends, time spent together, freedom to choose how to spend our days. Thank you for stating it so well.
    Kimberly
    FiftyJewels.com

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 23, 2015 at 1:35 PM

      Hi Kimberly! I know it’s not rocket science and that most of us know these things. But if you’re like me we can all use a reminder every single day. Thanks for your comment! ~Kathy

      Reply
  6. Doreen McGettigan says

    March 23, 2015 at 8:59 AM

    There is an abundance of good advice and encouragement here. Thank you. I think young adults need this information more than ever.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 23, 2015 at 1:34 PM

      Hi Doreen! I’m glad to offer an abundance of encouragement! Thanks! ~Kathy

      Reply
  7. Linda Roy (elleroy was here) says

    March 23, 2015 at 4:36 AM

    I really identified with this. Success cannot be measured by professional or financial status, or societal standards. It comes from a place of personal happiness and contentment. That’s a hard thing to remember sometimes when we’re constantly being deluged by messages in the media to the contrary. But if you enjoy your life, that’s everything.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 23, 2015 at 1:33 PM

      Hi Linda! I think most of us know these signs deep down but I also know that most of us need to hear them over and over again because like you say it’s “A hard thing to remember sometimes when we’re constantly being deluged by messages in the media to the contrary.” Maybe even worse is when friends or family or push us to “succeed” even though we know it won’t make us happy. That’s why I’ve always loved the quote by ee cummings that says, “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy

      Reply
  8. river says

    March 23, 2015 at 1:49 AM

    #4 I had that. For almost ten years, I worked at a job I loved so much I practically bounced out of bed each morning. Then the company closed operation here and moved to third world countries.
    I still have abundance in my life though. I don’t have everything I want, (who does?), but I have everything I need. I’m no longer working, so my time is my own and that in itself is abundance.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 23, 2015 at 1:29 PM

      Hi River! Yes isn’t it great to have a job/occupation that we love? While change can be challenging, never forget that it is always possible to find other ways to express ourselves that are equally fulfilling. In an abundant Universe there is always more than enough of everything we need. And didn’t you say “I have everything I need?” Plus with all the abundant time on your hands you likely have millions of ways to express yourself in satisfying ways. ~Kathy

      Reply
  9. Tam Warner Minton says

    March 21, 2015 at 6:28 PM

    I love this. So many wonderful things to remind myself of, every day! Time…..yes, time is the essence of abundance.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 22, 2015 at 8:20 AM

      Hi Tam! Thanks for your thoughts on this. Let’s all remember the sweet preciousness of time as much as possible. And if I forget, please remind me!!! ~Kathy

      Reply
  10. Laura Lee Carter says

    March 21, 2015 at 4:32 PM

    “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Words to live by… and I do! I’ve been reconsidering my purpose lately.
    Thanks for reminding me of my own abundance. Thanks for sharing Kathy.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 22, 2015 at 8:19 AM

      Hi Laura Lee! Yes, isn’t a heart filled with gratitude one of the most abundant things any of us can posses RIGHT THIS SECOND? And I don’t doubt for a second that you will find some new purpose soon that will inspire you.

      And I’m sure you would agree that none of these 7 signs is something we “arrive at” and then never have to think about again right? Every day I wake up and try to remember them best I can. On some days I do better than others and I don’t think I can hear it enough. As they say, “It’s the journey. Not the destination.” ~Kathy

      Reply
  11. Haralee says

    March 21, 2015 at 3:10 PM

    Great insights. I hope your sharing was accepted and given some thought. Many young couples want a standard of living that is available through some large debt. I don’t want to sound too much like the old lady I am but it seems immediate gratification is the norm, rather than waiting to be able to afford what you want. On the other hand sometimes an opportunity is presented and a financial risk is in order to achieve it for the big picture.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 22, 2015 at 8:16 AM

      Hi Haralee! I don’t think we ever know if others “hear” our message whether we open our mouths or not, right? I am happy to report that some of the younger couples we know have seemed to absorb some of our message about a more simple and right-sized life that we’ve been putting out for some time now, so that is gratifying. For example we have a nephew and niece who bought a modest home in a decent neighborhood a while back and instead of trying to cash-in and trade up they recently put solar on the house and are converting some of their massive lot to desert landscaping to reduce water costs. Best of all IMHO is they are working to pay off the mortgage early and all their debts to go debt free. We are STRONG supporters of that and really, really wish we’d been taught that much earlier in our lives.

      And while I agree that financial opportunities can ask us to take risk in the name of investments, it is very, very wise to remember in the words of the book, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” that a home is NEVER an investment. Even if you get lucky making money on it, and we have for sure, it is always a cash drain rather than an investment. Instead, it is SMART to consider an investment purely from an investment standpoint to gauge risk and rate of return.

      Thanks Haralee for adding more to this conversation. ~Kathy

      Reply
  12. My Inner Chick says

    March 21, 2015 at 10:03 AM

    YES.
    Purpose.
    Meaning.
    Peace of mind.
    Gratitude.
    These are the things that truly matter. Xx
    For me, I’d also add connection and relationship w/ GOD.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 21, 2015 at 10:22 AM

      Hi Kim! Yes to you too! Don’t you agree that when we add up all the abundance in our lives (like you just did) we have so very much? And #5 and #6 on my list is exactly what you added when you said “connection and relationship w/GOD” (I just use a little different wording than you might be familiar with.) So important to remember it all. ~Kathy

      Reply
  13. solidgoldcreativity says

    March 20, 2015 at 11:17 PM

    A great post, Kathy. I enjoyed it very much. The quote from Einstein you included in a comment is brilliant. It’s all there in one short question. Are we willing to view the universe as benevolent? Most human beings are not.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 21, 2015 at 10:18 AM

      Hi Narelle! Thanks and I’m glad you liked it! And isn’t that quote just a simple way of thinking about the possibility (or the limitation) of our lives? If we start out each day believing that our good is inevitable, how can it not be? Given a choice (and I believe we all do have that!) you know which one I choose and I’m guessing I know for you as well. ~Kathy

      Reply
  14. G Angela says

    March 20, 2015 at 10:50 PM

    Hi Kathy,

    Nice to read your post, and I loved the quote… it takes time to reach a state in our minds to let go of all those unnecessary clutter we hold on to as we keep moving on in life and focus on what really matters in life.. then there is so much in our lives, and we lack nothing. I always envied people who have huge houses, latest model cars & gadgets and would wonder when will I have all these things, but there is no end to our desires… today I think and feel differently with experience and age, I prefer to have a smaller space, easy to maintain and would just love to have what I need and all the other things I look at it as a luxury, I can live without it – but most important for me today is my family, friends & meaningful work, which makes me come alive and fills me with so much of joy.. I am still learning to do away with all those things that is not necessary, the most important is “what will they say”…. and I feel so relieved to be at peace and do my bit in making the world a better place. Thank you for sharing, you made me think…

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 21, 2015 at 10:15 AM

      Hi G Angela! Glad you liked this one and thank you for adding to the conversation. And I also agree that when we are younger it is so easy to be seduced by all the “things” our there in the world. Thankfully age does help with that right. It is so freeing to come to the realization where, as you say, “friends, family and meaningful work, fills you with joy and and so much more. And I agree that letting go of caring what others might say (or think) can be equally liberating. But then when I consider how far I’ve come, there is likely much more to go. I’m pretty happy just knowing that we are making progress in the right direction, and as you say, doing our bit to make the world a better place. ~Kathy

      Reply
  15. Lois says

    March 20, 2015 at 7:31 PM

    Kathy, I think this is one of your best writings here on the blog. When I was young, high school and right after, I sought the house and all the nice things that came with the career. But it wasn’t for me, it was to show I had “made it”. I felt I needed to prove something to received acceptance and love. Yet, with the house, cars and nice furnishings you would most often find me curled up with a book in the one room we didn’t do anything to in our house.

    Abundance, as you so clearly pointed out, has nothing to do with the career, what we own or the bank account. It has everything to do with how we decide to view the world around us and the relationships we hold dear. If any one would have told me back in the day that I would be happy after losing my ability to walk I would have told them there was no way, yet it’s all the things that became important in my life that makes that one aspect of my life not as important.

    I’m surprised you didn’t share what you learned with the young couple. While they may have seemed to be looking for approval maybe they would have appreciated your take on the larger house.Your voice could have been the one that they hadn’t heard so far and might have given them pause to reconsider the lifestyle they grew up thinking they wanted. Either way, they would have done what they wanted in the end.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 21, 2015 at 8:03 AM

      Hi Lois! You always add such a personal take on your comments that help add to the conversation. Thank YOU for that! I agree that we tend to think that something like losing our ability to walk would be the “end” to our happiness or wellbeing and as you prove every single day, that’s not true. When you find that real abundance is yourself and your view of the world that’s the start of our happiness and wellbeing, whatever situation we find ourselves in. Not always easy–but doable.

      And if you know Thom and I you know it’s pretty hard for us to “stay quiet” about anything, so in some ways I think we can’t help ourselves. 🙂 But I have found when talking with others when they really aren’t interested in what your perspective is about their “situation” that it is pretty much a waste of energy. If or when they are ready, then you can see a little crack in the conversation. While I would never “encourage” anyone to live an extravagant lifestyle they cannot afford, or reach for things I believe to be unsustainable, I’m finding that sometimes just listening and allowing others to choose their own path is okay too. Beyond that, we are pretty open (and vocal) about what is working in our lives so when they are ready, we’re always available for that conversation. ~Kathy

      Reply
  16. NancyTex says

    March 20, 2015 at 1:46 PM

    I try to hold back when asked to give advice to younger couples about finance/career/investments because I think there’s so much wisdom that comes from the good and bad choices we make. I think it would also be a bit hipocritical of me to say, don’t buy the big house for your growing family (I did) and don’t pour 60 hours a week into your career (I did) – especially because they know that I have what I have today because I did those things. The nice house appreciated in value nearly 200%; the big career funded wonderful adventures, vacations, and experiences.

    Am I willing to make some of those sacrifices approaching 50 years old as I did in my 30s and early 40s? No! But those earlier sacrifices have put me in the position where I can make that choice!

    Net/net – I love these 7 signs of abundance! But I probabaly appreciate them more now than I could have at a younger age. 🙂

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 2:24 PM

      Hi Nancy! Thanks for sharing some of your personal story with us in connection with this idea. Somehow I don’t think you are the type that would put yourself in a job or work that you didn’t appreciate/enjoy at least most of the time. I think that is critical. If we are doing work that brings us other benefits, the hours we put into it can translate to living our calling. But I’ll bet you know people who don’t (or didn’t) like what they did, but only did it for the money or the retirement. That’s a trade off that I don’t think shows real abundance.

      And while it is nice that you bought a home that has appreciated well, I doubt that’s why you bought your home in the first place. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that “generally” most Canadians didn’t (and don’t) buy more house than they can comfortably afford so that’s probably your case as well. And you brought up an interesting word–sacrifice. I personally like to use the word “trade-off.” We all make them all the time. It sounds like the trade-offs or sacrifices you made then were worth for creating the quality of life you are living now. As long as we do that with complete awareness (and conscious choice) I think that is both SMART and a path to real abundance. ~Kathy

      Reply
  17. T.O. Weller says

    March 20, 2015 at 9:29 AM

    I think what I love most about the seven signs of abundance is that they can all be, NOW. There is nothing we need to do or change to feel them, to know them, except make the choice, NOW.

    In contrast, the pursuit of money, power and material possessions is never satisfied. The very essence of the pursuit is that there’s something to pursue … you have to believe you don’t have enough.

    I would likely share this understanding, briefly, and then smile and encourage. We have three children at that stage of life and, as much as we try to share what we’ve learned, they forge ahead on their own path.

    Wisdom comes with experience, so they must experience. (Even as I imagine how amazing it would be for them to take and use what we’ve learned … I mean, how much further ahead would they be?!?)

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 2:08 PM

      Hi T.O.! YES! Thanks for pointing out that we don’t have to wait to be abundant–all of these are possibilities right now. It does come down to choice doesn’t it?

      I’m sure it is especially challenging to watch your kids stumble around making mistakes that you KNOW they could have avoided, but then we all had to learn it (or mostly it) on our own terms. I do believe they are watching even if they must try out a few things on their own so who knows right? Sure I wish I’d gotten it a bit earlier myself but thank goodness I did get it as early as I did! ~Kathy

      Reply
  18. Laura says

    March 20, 2015 at 8:42 AM

    Great article! Thank you for sharing what you’ve learned through your veracious reading and your mindful journey. I struggle with number 6 because I think I come at this idea of a “my place in the Universe” from a grandiose viewpoint which leads to a scarcity mindset.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 10:05 AM

      Hi Laura! Glad you liked it and that it is helping you look at and address some of your current beliefs. Number 6 is likely an issue for lots of us if we don’t dig around and discover what it is underneath our religious beliefs about abundance and happiness. Anyone who was raised believing that the Universe (or our definition of God) is punitive and capricious will have a difficult time believing they deserve real abundance on a fundamental level. And while many of us no longer have those spiritual ideas from our youth, there are still lingering aspects that can influence find their way into how we approach our lives even today. That’s why I LOVE the quote by Einstein who supposedly asked something like, “The biggest question any of us can ask ourselves is: Do we believe in a friendly Universe?” ~Kathy

      Reply
  19. Deane Alban says

    March 20, 2015 at 8:18 AM

    I love these 7 signs of abundance! A few years ago we sold our house, moved to where we really want to be and now rent a house instead. As a former real estate investor I know all about both sides of home ownership — I’ve owned plenty of ’em! I tell my adult son to spend his money on experiences rather than possessions and he seems to “get” it, but everyone has to find their own way in life. My new “American dream” means more freedom and peace of mine — and for me that includes less house to worry about.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 9:55 AM

      Hi Deane! Thanks for adding to this conversation with your personal experiences. Yes I think any of us who have a background in real estate know that our home and/or investments can be useful for some things, but that they don’t necessarily mean a person is abundant. I’m sure you’ve seen (like us) that people who have big and gorgeous homes, or others that have tons of investment real estate, who spend every waking moment trying to take care of it, keep it safe, and get even more. That path does NOT guarantee happiness or peace of mind. And Thom is also a HUGE one believing that the freedom and peace of mind that comes from living debt free and well below our means leads to our high feeling of abundance. I’ll bet your son is watching you and absorbing more about what you value now than you know. As you say, we all “get it” when we “get it.” And I’ll bet he will too! ~Kathy

      Reply
  20. Nancy Landrum says

    March 20, 2015 at 8:11 AM

    Kathy, thanks again for a great post! You summarized so much of what I’ve experienced and know to be true in my life. Although I didn’t always know these things, the more I KNOW them, the more at peace I am, the more abundant I feel!

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 9:49 AM

      Hi Nancy! Good for you for internalizing and living these ideas. I think it is SMART for us all to encourage each other to live it to the best of our abilities and share it with everyone who can listen. I believe so many of the problems in the world today–everything from violence, to the climate crisis, to prejudice, to problems in the government and the economy–are happening because most of us are so disconnected to what is important and who we really are. The more we can stay focused on our true nature and real abundance, the better. ~Kathy

      Reply
  21. Rena McDaniel says

    March 20, 2015 at 8:09 AM

    I agree Kathy! For so many years, it was all about money, cars and houses. It wasn’t until my health failed and we lost it all and had to start over that I finally figured it out. It’s about the people and the experiences that makes life worth living. The other just fills a void. I may not have what I had back in the day, but I am a much happier, content person. I love my life because I choose what’s important and what’s not.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 9:44 AM

      Hi Rena! Yes, I’ll bet that most all of us walked that path of thinking the American Dream was the answer for year. I can’t remember who said it but there is a quote that goes something like, “we learn things either by inspiration or pain.” And while I’d like to believe I always choose to learn by inspiration, the truth is that we all often learn when something painful pops up like you mention. Of course the other quote says something like, “the only mistake is the one you make when you don’t learn.” It sounds to me like you have learned something VERY important that will stay with you forever. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy

      Reply
  22. nrhatch says

    March 20, 2015 at 7:17 AM

    If I could go back in time, I would tell myself two things:

    1. Don’t buy a bunch of STUFF that you need to store, dust, or insure against natural and man-made disasters.

    2. What THEY think of you is none of your business.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 9:42 AM

      Hi Nancy! Ah that we could tell our younger self such wisdom huh? Of course I just need to tell myself over and over and over what I think I already know to reap the benefit. Thanks for your reminders. ~Kathy

      Reply
  23. Janis says

    March 20, 2015 at 6:36 AM

    You are probably right about that young couple wanting encouragement rather than advice, but the insight you have to offer them is so valuable. Unfortunately it often takes the wisdom that comes with age and experience to really understand about true abundance. And, some keep on chasing after things that don’t matter, never to appreciate the things that do.

    I am truly grateful to be living an abundant life. Thanks for the SMART reminder.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 9:40 AM

      Hi Janis! Yes isn’t it true that until we are ready to hear a message it doesn’t matter–but when we are it comes from us from lots of angles. It did talk Thom and while to understand what we do know, and I’ll bet there is plenty more to be revealed!!! (at least I’m counting on that!)

      And from what I read on your blog you too are experiencing a life of abundance. Enjoy! ~Kathy

      Reply
  24. Lizzie Lau says

    March 20, 2015 at 6:24 AM

    We are brainwashed by the media to collect things. Because of this it’s hard to convince a young person that going into debt to acquire stuff isn’t going to bring them joy.
    The first time I got married my parents spent a lot of money and afterwards told me they would have been just as happy giving us the cash to start our lives with rather than blowing it on one magnificent party. If they had made that offer when we first started planning (I was 19) I don’t know if I would have taken the money. Looking back, I realize that having a big expensive wedding is something we are programmed to do, but it just doesn’t make sense for a young couple starting out if they have to go into debt to do it.
    You are in a position to be a mentor Kathy, and you shouldn’t hesitate to offer your “young” friends another point of view.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 9:38 AM

      Hi Lizzie! Yes, so true that the media (and our entire culture) are hellbent on convincing us that we need that stuff to make us happy. And even as much as Thom and I talk about it and do our best to live it, that “race consciousness” just seems to be swirling around everywhere and nudging us in that direction. That’s why it takes a concerted effort to stay on track.

      And oh yeah about the marriage thing! Fortunately Thom and I had zero money and because we (shocker) lived together back in the day, neither of our parents wanted anything to do with us until we made it “legal.” Thankfully that has changed but we weren’t tempted to spend money we obviously didn’t have so we didn’t blog much of anything on our wedding. In fact my wedding ring was a $30 gold band from Montgomery Wards (remember them?). So whenever any of our family or friends want to get married we really try to encourage them to just take the money and go on a nice honeymoon or use it to pay off debts! Unfortunately as you say, so many are so “programmed” that they just can’t leave it alone.

      And thanks Lizzie about stating our influence. I think as I age that one of the best things we do (besides writing this blog) is to live as an example of what we think is important. And thankfully we can see it in some others who tell us that it has been helpful. People tend to “wake up” when they are ready. Until then we just walk our talk as best we can. ~Kathy

      Reply
  25. Cristin says

    March 20, 2015 at 6:12 AM

    You have some really great quotes and realities in there! I believe that until we feel we have something, we cannot give it to others. I mean this in a mental way, like with love, hope, trust and security.

    Reply
    • Kathy Gottberg says

      March 20, 2015 at 9:31 AM

      Hi Cristin! Glad you liked it. There are LOTS of good quotes out there for us to read and remember how “the best things in life aren’t things?” aren’t there? And I completely agree that we really can’t offer anyone anything unless we embody it ourselves. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy

      Reply

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Kathy Gottberg is an author with seven published books and hundreds of articles covering dozens of topics in the last 35 years. Along with her books, her passion today is SMART Living 365 where she explores ideas and experiences that help to create a meaningful, sustainable, compassionate and rewarding life for herself and others. Beyond that, she lives with Thom, her best friend and soul mate in Tucson, AZ.

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