Did you smile today? It matters—at least according to research by college professor, psychologist, and author Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D. Yet most of the time we tend to believe that a smile, while nice in the moment, is too tiny or inconsequential to make much of a difference. But according to Fredrickson every smile, and all the other positive emotions we have during the course of the day, add up to tremendous benefits to the quality of our mental, emotional and physical health. So yes, it matters whether you smiled today. In fact, it could be one of the most important things you do for yourself or others as your future unfolds.
Dr. Fredrickson knows this because she is an expert on positive emotions. But just to be clear, positive emotions are not the same as happiness. According to her research of over 20 years, positive emotions are narrow-band feelings in the moment, not overall judgements about your life. In other words, the vast majority of the time when a person talks about happiness, it is the collection of the number and quality of positive emotions a person experiences in a given set of time. What this says to me is that if you don’t think of yourself as happy, that indicates that you are experiencing a severe lack of positive emotions in your day-to-day life.
Actually, it is Fredrickson’s belief that instead of focusing so much on happiness as a goal, we would all be better off if we instead worked on discovering which emotions fill up our days. Then, if we can increase the number of positive emotions in those moments, that not only gives our mental state a positive boost, but it also pays off in many other benefits as well. And yes, it’s likely we’ll be able to look back on the day and say we felt happy.
First let’s look at what are considered to be positive emotions:
- Love
- Awe
- Gratitude & Appreciation
- Inspiration
- Connection to others
- Pride
- Optimism and Anticipation
- Amusement
- Joy
- Interest
- Contentment
It is rather obvious why each of these emotions could be considered positive, but they also play into another focus of Fredrickson’s work which is her “broaden and build theory.” In a nutshell, that theory suggests that when we fill our daily moments with positive emotions they have a “broadening effect.” This broadening effect then builds and frees us from the more traditional negative responses to life (those flight-or-fight responses like fear or anger.)
In other words, when we aren’t locked into a fight-or-flight response to those around us or the world at large, we literally see more, we hear more, we have more creativity, more choices, more options. By broadening and building on positive emotions we not only feel better, we do better. And that of course tends to lead to all sorts of beneficial things in our bodies, minds and souls.
Fredrickson’s research proves that a reservoir of positive emotions (go ahead, look at that list above again) impacts us on many levels. She says, “When people increase their daily diets of positive emotions, they find more meaning and purpose in life. They also find that they receive more social support—or perhaps they just notice it more, because they’re more attuned to the give-and-take between people. They report fewer aches and pains, headaches, and other physical symptoms. They show mindful awareness of the present moment…they feel more effective at what they do. They’re better able to savor the good things in life and can see more possible solutions to problems. And they sleep better.” She even goes on to say that it likely helps us to live longer as well.
So let’s say we all agree that smiling is a good thing. Is any smile okay? And how many smiles are necessary? More research proves that in order to generate true positivity resonance, we need to generate sincere and authentic smiles. People can tell—we can tell—the difference. Fredrickson also believes that face-to-face smiles are most beneficial. How many? Fredrickson says, “Well one smile isn’t going to do it. It’s more like we need to increase our daily diet of genuine smiles. My research suggests the tipping point is three to one positive to negative emotions.” In other words, for every negative feeling we experience, a minimum of three or more positives is necessary.
But in case you are wondering, Fredrickson doesn’t advocate that we completely eliminate or ignore negative emotions. It is unhealthy mentally, emotionally or physically to do that. Instead, she believes a large reservoir of positive emotions will help us best face and deal with the many challenges that life can bring. Like I’ve written about before, being able to handle the paradox of both positive and negative emotions is critical to a healthy life.
In case you are wondering, Fredrickson does offer suggestions for increasing our positive emotions. She believes becoming aware in the present moment is the most important thing we can do. Think about it. If you are focused on yourself or worrying about your past or your future—you’ll miss those people right in front of you—and the chance to smile. Another suggestion is to pay attention to human kindness—not just what others are doing for you—but what you can do for others. If you spend all your time on Facebook looking at things that make you angry or sad, you are actually narrowing your mental capacity, imagination and ability to respond in a positive way. If you must look at Facebook, look at the ways people are doing good and helping each other—or things that make you laugh.
And let’s not forget gratitude. When you take the time to reflect on all the good in your life—right now, how can you not be filled with positive emotion? Fredrickson also recommends getting outside and spending time in nature. Studies show that spending 30 minutes outdoors in nice weather can definitely improve our mood and sense of wellbeing. And then there is the value of mindfulness training and lovingkindness meditation.
My biggest takeaway? The reminder that positive emotion is literally like the sun to a water lily. The more it gets, the more it opens up. When we flood our world with positive emotion (and don’t forget that’s not just ha, ha feel-good), then we open our awareness to the world around us. We can see more, hear more, remember more, understand more. We are more creative and receptive to possibilities. We see more opportunity and are far, far more resilient when facing challenges. If you encounter anyone who is closed-minded and myopic, then chances are good they have little or no sunlight (positive emotion) in their lives.
I also think it is critical to keep remembering that our emotions are contagious around others. When I’m feeling good, hopeful and generous, that transfers to everyone around me. It also infuses my writing and my relationships. When I share that with others, that not only broadens and builds that resonance within me, it helps everyone around me. No one is suggesting that life is always easy or that we aren’t facing big challenges in the world today—but according to the research, it would be SMART to do our best to broaden and build positive emotion for ourselves and others whenever we can. And a good smile or two today just might be the best place to start.
For more fascinating info on this subject:
I tend to smile at people a lot, or so people tell me (I don’t really notice myself doing it).
Interestingly, in a work situation, the leadership research shows that women typically smile more than men, and that smiling so much might not be to their advantage. Smiling can be interpreted as trying to please or being submissive or weak in such contexts. Smiling can also indicate approachability and acceptance, which are great for relationship-building, but also can lead to women carrying more than their share of of workplace relationships management. So, I do think it’s gendered. Does Fredrickson have any comments about that?
Jude
Hi Kathy, I was drawn to your title as smiling is something I’m passionate about. I even have a smile named after me, the Debbie Smile, by my friends and family. I agree with your thoughts and the many comments but also believe a smile has to be authentic and reach the eyes. I also would add curiosity to the list of positive attributes as a sense so curiosity can lead to fun and future oriented activities. A very uplifting post. Thanks. Here’s smiling at you ?
Hi Debbie! Every since I wrote this I have been coming back to read it frequently. Why is it so difficult to remember WHY we all need to do this every day and many times throughout. I’m working to make it a habit….and good for you because it sounds like you have done that! And yes, I’m smiling back at you right now! ~Kathy
When we’re in a good mood, or the sun is shining, it is so much easier to have and portray positive emotions, so striving for that would be a good first step. When it’s not too busy on the boardwalks and trails, Mark and I make it a point to greet other people. As my mom was walking with us, I noticed she never said anything and I blamed it on the more reserved nature of us, Europeans. Then, I saw her smile at people. She told me she always smiles at everyone and that it’s amazing to see almost everyone’s lips turn into a smile as a result. 🙂
Hi Liesbet! You are so right…it IS easier when we feel good and everything is going well. But like Fredrickson says, if we have a reservoir of positive emotion built up in side then we can more smoothly navigate those rough spells. And what a good story about your mom. While some of us are certainly more “vocal” than others, it is that connection made with a smile that really matters. Good for her AND good for you for noticing. ~Kathy
I like the positive emotions created by a connection with others, especially children. My most sincere smiles are almost always from watching or interacting with little ones. I can’t help myself, children are so precious to me!!
For a couple of years, I was chasing joy by using it as my word of the year. Finally realized that joy is not going to be something I achieve and then retain forever. Joy can be found in every day but in fleeting moments. So now I find joy and happiness in some bit of something everyday. Especially when there are babies around!
Hi Leslie! I’m not a big baby person….but even I cannot resist the a cute laugh or smile from a child. Who can really? They have such innocent joy that we all feel compelled to respond to so I’m not surprised it triggers positive emotions in you. And how interesting that you even though “joy” was something you sought for a time, you’ve realized that it is indeed an emotion that can’t be captured….rather just experienced, right? Maybe if we just use positive emotions like sprinkles of water that offset thirst we would be better served in the long run. And when you know one of your sure positive emotions (babies) you know exactly what you need to do whenever you’re thirsty! Thank you for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
Even the title made me smile, Kathy. Interesting on how positive emotions are not the same as happiness. My interpretation of some of points you share is how positive emotions are like pause buttons in our life. They interrupt the challenges and stresses of our day/our life.
And yes, on the gratitude, always. Our Thanksgiving weekend and I am thankful for a great deal in my life. Your positive, inspirational blog site and you, Kathy are all part of this?
Hi Erica! Yes isn’t that interesting to make the distinction between happiness and positive emotions? It is so normal to lump them together but I think when we take the time to focus on the details, they offer a much more rewarding experience. And that is also good to think of them as “pause” buttons that can cause us to slow down and really take in what is happening. I hope you had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving and that it was filled with LOTS of pause buttons! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Here’s smilin’ at ya!
Seeking happiness can result in disappointment in the way things work out (or don’t)…it is the noticing of small positive emotions along the way that builds happiness.
You can choose to smile, however…and the simple physical act can bring positive emotions your way.
🙂
Hi Nancy! And please accept my “smile” right back at ya! And I LOVE the simple, momentary act of how transformative a smile can be. It’s really the little things huh? I hope you’re having a great AND positive weekend. ~Kathy
🙂
I agree with you and commenters about why smiling and positivity are SO important to ourselves and to those around us. I get approached by serious students (who are probably nervous) before or after class with a question and I am able to positively answer and encourage at the same time. I can feel their palpable relief after the exchange. For myself, I am always grateful when a passerby randomly smiles at me although I have asked myself what they are smiling at, LOL! Finding humor in mundane situations is also helpful. The other day, while walking my dogs in a friend’s gated community, my dog decided to do his duty on the very lawn where the homeowner was standing. He started screaming and yelling at me despite the fact that I had whipped out the baggie and was cleaning it up. I instinctively joked that my dog really loved his grass because the poop was a “two-bagger.” That calmed him down and he laughed off the incident. Don’t think my heart wasn’t pounding! I could have been very bitchy and sarcastic but I went with humor. Even over dog poop!
Hi Terri! Good for you for dissolving the potentially tense situation. I think any time we can help to switch a person’s perspective on danger or fear then we are both better off–and it certainly sounds like that. Of course that is really interesting that you sometimes question the smiles of others. Fredrickson actually addressed that by saying some of us are “conditioned” to smile even when we don’t really want to…but then that’s not a genuine smile and people can usually tell. It’s not that they are likely sinister, but rather they think they need to “put on a happy face” for one reason or another and their true feelings come out. When I’m out walking I don’t necessary just SMILE at people. Instead I usually say “good morning” with a smile on my face and that seems to provide a reason for the exchange so that people can understand where I am coming from. I LOVE how most other countries are very vocal about saying good morning or good day and they mean it…so I do my best to come from that place and most of the time it is returned. Thanks for some of your personal experiences on this! ~Kathy
Wow–as a person and psychotherapist, I am delighted to read about her studies and will continue challenging myself and my clients to:
Love
Awe
Gratitude & Appreciation
Inspiration
Connection to others
Pride
Optimism and Anticipation
Amusement
Joy
Interest
Contentment
Hi Gary! She does have some incredible studies that should be helpful to you personally and in your business. Remembering that it is those tiny little moments that make up our experiences–and doing what we can to make those tiny moments positive is very powerful. No, they won’t keep bad things from happening but they will help us get through them…that seems clear to me. ~Kathy
Sometimes I “forget” to smile… it usually happens when I’m too much in my head thinking about this and that – nothing bad, just stuff. Then, just a simple smile from someone else brings me to the surface and I instantly feel better and more connected. That’s what I want to do for others.
Hi Janis! I’ll bet you’re right. It is SO-O-O easy to get caught in thought and focused on what is going on in our head. And thanks for mentioning something that Fredrickson is adamant about…and that is that a smile and many other tiny positive emotions connect us with others and make us feel content, safe, understood, etc. That is one of their major benefits. That’s probably why it is easy to imagine if we all went around with a smile on our face, a genuine smile that it, we would find it much easier to be kind to one another. She also has FASCINATING studies that show that when we are experiencing even tiny positive emotion we are more open to others AND there is even a study showing we are less prejudiced against others. Many, many reasons to smile. ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – Thank you for another highly interesting post (and comments). I agree that each of us may be ‘hardwired’ (or conditioned) one way or the other. I also believe that we do have choice. Positive emotions are contagious!
Hi Donna! Well I happen to know you have a fabulous smile and it always increases my positive emotions when I see it! I do think it comes easier to some of us rather than others…Thom doesn’t always smile…I’m more THAT person 🙂 but I also know that he appreciates it when I do and the other person smiles back (not to mention when I smile at him!) Again, I think the big point out smiles is that it is just a tiny example of ways we can increase the positive emotion in ourselves AND in others. I’m all for easy! And yes, then let’s spread it around! ~Kathy
Love this. My motto is Smiles are contagious, pass one around! I truly believe that you can make someone’s day just with a smile. Of course, there are negative things and we should not just sweep them under the rug but working through them is easier with a positive attitude. Thanks for sharing this!
Hi Janet! I so agree that smiles are contagious. I get a boost of positivity when I connect with someone (whether I know them or not) and we smile. It certainly brightens the moment for me and I suspect the other person as well. Of course as you know not everyone smiles back…and I’ve also learned just to let that go and move on–who knows what another person is going through right? It is just such an important and tiny little thing I can do for myself AND others so why not? Finding those little things that lifts our emotions every day is so very important. I’m glad you found it helpful! ~Kathy
Kathy, As a recovering Negative Nellie, I like this a lot. I especially like the 3 positive to 1 negative aspect to build up the positivity, because negative stuff does not go away. There are such real ways to do it… 30 minutes in nature, practice kindness, pick out a jolt of joy to do, watch something funny on YouTube, give someone a hug, think of three things you’re grateful for. There are many things to do to have a full diet of smiles!
Hi Pat! I really think you should take a look at more of Fredrickson’s work because she definitely appeals to the scientific evidence part of me (and I think you like that too!) She isn’t trying to convince people to be happy, but instead to understand how positivity can be like water for our psyche in so many ways. And let’s face it…what might bring a smile to my face could be very different, right? So the good trick is to find out what brings those positive emotions to each of us and then do what we can to bring them into our life. Thanks for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
I read somewhere that people are hard-wired one way or the other so that their natural state is either leaning toward positive or negative. And of course there are degrees of this in either state…That helps me have more compassion for those that tend to see the cup as always half-empty. I’m very fortunate to have a naturally positive outlook, although I have had days where I had to count my blessings, to get the right perspective on things.
Deb
Hi Deb! I agree that people seem to be hardwired one way or another. But I also believe that learning about new ways to “build” our positivity by focusing on individual emotions in the moment could be really helpful for us all. I really appreciate how Fredrickson refers to positivity as nutrients to a plant. Our psyche needs those bits of positivity in order for us to feel safe, content and connected to others. And to the extent we don’t get them, we sort of wither up and die. A SURE way to get there is to be grateful…no matter how challenging a day (or our life at the time) is. That in itself adds to our reservoir! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this! ~Kathy
Love your take-away, just sums it up well! I am a smiley person and I have had negative people, coworkers, ask me in an accusing tone what I am so happy about. My answer has always been after the first encounter about 40 years ago, ‘Happy to be alive’. That never shuts them up but it at least puts me on record that I won’t be joining their negative party and I of course say it with a smile!
Hi Haralee! Obviously I agree with you about the smiles! I’m guessing that you, like me, find it very easy to smile. And while Fredrickson is very clear that the smile and/or other positive emotions we generate must be genuine to have an effect, they come easy to me. I don’t smile at EVERYONE but most of the time I find I get a positive emotion from it…and when the other person smiles back. Fredrickson says that usually relates to feelings of connection and community and those are definitely positive emotions. ~Kathy
Interesting approach. But it doesn’t change my mind that Fredrickson’s best advice is that we shouldn’t focus so much on happiness as a goal. Focusing on feeling happy is like focusing on feeling healthy. It doesn’t work by itself. Feeling healthy is a byproduct of doing healthy things like eating right, exercising regularly, keeping your weight down, developing a strong social network, etc. So happiness depends on having a purpose in life, doing something you think is worthwhile, helping other people … and developing a strong social network. Anyway, that’s my advice … and I’m, er, happy to share it!
Hi Tom! Yes, Fredrickson is very clear that “happiness” isn’t a good goal for several reasons. One is that most of us equate happiness with hedonism or pleasure and that’s not what her work is about. Instead she really believes that by focusing on the positive emotions that result from things like: doing healthy things for ourselves and others, exercising, creating a strong circle of friends and loved ones, service work, etc. I think she would say that anything that make you “feel” purposeful…those things are are building a reservoir inside of you and that is what eventually registers as a content, grateful, happy life. So I don’t think your perspective on happiness is much different than hers…you are just overlooking the purpose of distinct emotions that make up the course of any given day. ~Kathy
Most interesting subject. It confirms what I’ve often suspected that by focusing on the more positive, not necessarily perfect, things in your life you’ll feel better and have a sense of purpose. But just trying selling that idea to a Negative Nellie who enjoys self-pity! Somehow they seem to be immune from any happiness contagion around them. ?
Hi Ally! Oh yes…there are always Negative Nellie’s around…the challenge is to never be one ourselves if we can. I also tend to avoid them as much as possible…and you know what, they tend to avoid me most of the time too because they can’t handle my positivity! But now that I know that a severe lack of positivity literally closes down the mind, I am a little more compassionate towards people who see the world as a fearful and scary place. So you’re right, their negativity is likely making them immune to us. ~Kathy