March is always beautiful and considered “high season” where I live in the Desert Southwest. This last week it was strangely quiet. Schools are closed, traffic is a trickle, and most restaurants are closed. About the only businesses seeing a crowd are the grocery stores with people looking dismally at mostly empty shelves. Surely we are living in an unprecedented time? Perhaps our parents or grandparents who lived through the last world war recognize the sense of uncertainty that comes when something jolts our sense of safety and understanding about how the world is supposed to work. But most of us weren’t alive then and this is our first introduction to such uncertainty. Thankfully, most of us, like most of them, will get through this crisis with the right amount of care and responsible action. But in the meantime, it is SMART to remember that our how we respond to this experience is up to us. It’s also important to remember we are all in this together. In this, our third SMART Living 365 Vlog, Thom and I share several ideas we hope to implement in the days to come in order to sooth any anxiety or fear lurking inside. We hope you find them helpful as well. And if you have any tips for getting through these times as calmly, compassionately and peacefully as possible, please share them in the comments below.
Note: If you have trouble accessing the video on the link above, please CLICK HERE.
You two are doing such an amazing job with these vlogs – they are interesting, cohesive, informative, powerful, and to the point. It’s totally understandable how anxiety might run wild these weeks. I’m not sure what all the fear is about, but maybe that’s another emotion that uncertainty brings. I can’t help but think about people going through wars, though, and how that is so much worse.
Personally, we are not more anxious than usually, but that’s because uncertainty is a big part of our roaming lifestyle. We rarely know where we will end up the next day (literally and figuratively) and often only decide last minute where we will camp. That being said, this virus, of course, is affecting us as well. It guides where we can go, or more often these days, where we cannot go.
I think what might help in times of anxiety is focus on the things that haven’t changed and enjoy the moments that are familiar and present, instead of focusing on everything that has changed. My motto when things go wrong: “It can always be worse.” (Like a war or having your life/home/belongings destroyed by a disaster.)
Hi Liesbet! Thank you! I so appreciate your praise about the vlogs. I know they are quite a change from the regular but if we can’t experiment in this day and age, then when? I agree that when you look back at history and the BIG turmoils in our country this is still relatively minor. Of course, if the tole on life grows exponentially, that could change things. No one knows for sure. But I also appreciate that you and Mark have structured your life so you aren’t thrown off by uncertainty or change of plans because you do tend to flow with experiences. Good for you and that’s a lesson for all of us. And holding the thought that “things can always be worse” can certainly help to keep things in perspective. ~Kathy
Great advice and recommendations, Kathy and Thom. I found I am making a conscious effort to limit how often I read the news. I am also limiting social media unless it is photos or videos of our children and our families. We are taking advantage of the trails near our house. We may not be able to leave our home if things change. Very few people are outside and almost everyone is respectful and keeping their distance.
I just finished listening to a great podcast, “Tim Ferriss #414: Jack Kornfield – How to find peace amidst COVID -19 – How to cultivate calm in chaos.” You may have already listened to it.
I like your phrase, “throwing water on the flame.” I truly believe in the power of connections, always, and especially right now. Great podcast! Stay safe and healthy!
Hi Erica! Good for you for staying conscious and working to limit your time with “the news” and social media in general. And I’ll have to look up that podcast. I have listened to Tim Ferris before but I didn’t catch that one (yet!) That’s the trouble with so many that I follow I sometimes miss something good like that. Thanks for giving me the heads up. And yes to staying healthy for us all! ~Kathy
Hi, new to your vlog. Enjoyed your video. I can tell that you two agree on many important issues. That’s great. I have been married 52 years and have the same relationship with my husband!
Just one point I want to make about anxiety. It is an important issue with a lot of people on a daily basis. Not just in times of crisis. It takes a lot of work to keep it in check.
People with mental health issues can really be struggling with all the extra problems we have now. Thanks for your good suggestions on how to cope during the days ahead.
I look forward to your continuing vlog posts.
Hi Jackie! Nice to meet you and thank you for taking the time to watch our vlog. Also thanks for your reminder that some people do indeed struggle with anxiety on a regular basis. My heart goes out to them because I’m sure that they are having a far more difficult time with the current situation than the rest of us….and that’s challenging enough. I hope they are being guided to the right resources that helps them get them through the day. ~Kathy
Positive news from you in the midst of so much uncertainty, Kathy! I’ve appreciated my online friends and interactions lately. Limiting the news is so important. I subscribe to an app from trusted local news source and other than a quick look at the weather, opt for the fictional world of Netflix and other escape. Hope you and Thom are well and enjoying some peace and quiet.
Hi Terri! Yes definitely peaceful and quiet where I am. I hope that works for you. Good for you for finding an app that filters the news for you. I do follow a number of print news sources that I trust but it can still suck me in if I’m not super mindful. And yes to Netflix and Amazon Prime! Stay healthy! ~Kathy
Thanks for the good advice. I esp like limiting your time watching the news. I find I get on the internet, the TV, whatever, and get sucked in until, suddenly, I feel my nerves jangling and I realize I haven’t learned anything after the first five minutes. I guess that’s when it’s time to take a walk.
Hi Tom! Thanks for so eloquently expressing how that happens. Me too. I remember something on the internet that I wanted to check and if I’m not really “mindful” I don’t realize I’m still there a couple of hours later. TV news not so much because I have an almost visceral response to certain faces and the constant barrage of tones it give off. But the internet holds far more attraction for me so I have to be careful. A walk is a PERFECT solution! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy and Thom,
Thank you for making this thoughtful and encouraging video. It felt like a nice hug from a couple of dear friends. I look forward to your thoughts every week and this was especially welcome. I made a list of your list to use when I need some reminders. Take care of yourselves and I shall do the same. That way we can help others along this journey.
Till next week ~Cheri
PS- I hope you do more videos to uplift and keep in touch. Thank you again.
Hi Cheri. Thank you 🙂 It is nice to know you felt included in the conversation because that is what we are hoping to do with them. I definitely feel like all of you are “friends” so it’s another way to reach out “energetically” of course, and stay in touch. So far we are enjoying the practice of making the videos and plan to continue them once a month for the foreseeable future. It REALLY helps knowing people are watching them!!! Meanwhile, stay healthy and as peaceful as possible! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy and Thom! Nice job talking about a subject that impacts us all. I don’t consider myself a worrier, but I know that I’ve felt some anxiety lately that I can’t ignore away. Paul and I are doing what we can to get through this as best we can. We’ve been taking walks and today, because of all the rain we’ve had, we were out pulling weeds (apparently, the virus doesn’t affect them 🙂 ). The few neighbors who passed by while we were out front all asked how we were doing, and we asked the same thing. It’s nice to check in and have others check in on us. You two stay healthy. Hugs to you both! (Btw, I love Thom’s t-shirt.)
Hi Janis! Thank you. Once again it was a nice thing to focus on that was fun and creative and took our mind off all the news. I HIGHLY recommend that sort of action for us all. And good for you for focusing on taking care of your home and staying in touch with your neighbors. Like I mentioned to Donna we’ve had a large number of socially distant chats with our neighbors and I think that helps us as much as them. PLUS, good for you for seeing Thom’s T-shirt. It is one of his favorites and based on a quote by Wayne Dyer that he/we thought was particularly relevant today. We weren’t sure if anyone would even notice so you win the prize!!! Stay healthy and stay in touch! ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy and Thom – Thank you for another timely and insightful vlog post. I agree with each of your tips, especially the last one. In this time of physical social distancing, we must make sure that we are staying connected and not socially isolating. Take a walk, wave to the people you pass by, call your mom, skype your kids+grandkids, video conference with your bookclub, chat online, drop off groceries on a neighbour’s porch, write a letter to a friend….Whatever you do, stay connected! 😀
Hi Donna! Thank you! And thank you for staying connected to me/us. I think us bloggers are fortunate because we are accustomed to online friendships where some people might not. Of course, I have really been appreciating all the people we pass and talk to while out walking Kloe. In fact, in the last week we have probably had more conversation with a number of our neighbors than we usually do over several months. That’s a nice outcome. I love seeing your photos and comments on FB and am looking forward to all the ways we ALL manage our way through this experience. ~Kathy
Thank you for that calm, cheering chat! We’re taking lots of walks, doing some take-out to help the local restaurants (and eat something tasty!), and planning kinds of social events that we CAN do, like video conferences with family and outdoor lunches (when the weather in Massachusetts improves enough to do that) with friends. You and Thom are adorable!
Hi Nancy! We haven’t done any take out yet. I have more than enough food for a week or so. But we were just out riding our bikes and went by one of our favorite restaurants that is offering take out and I said, maybe by next week when I’m bored with my usual we will have to give them a try. I know the local businesses will suffer but am also hoping that this shut down will help it end more quickly so they can get open once again. And yes to video conferencing. That is a great way to both see, hear and connect with friends and loved ones. ~Kathy
Thom and Kathy;
I was delighted to find the two of you in my mailbox, and have coffee with you this morning! Thank you for bringing your wisdom and encouragement, as always.
I wish I were doing creative projects, but that has to wait until after we move.
I do want to underline hat you said about our children. In Palm Springs Unified, 87 percent of the children in the district boundaries live under the poverty line. People think of Palm Springs as fairly affluent, but that just isn’t the case. PSUSD is still feeding the students, and will continue to feed them. They are also working on getting a Chromebook into every student’s hands, so online learning will be an option, should this continue beyond what we currently expect. As teachers, we are not expected to report to the job site, but we are “on call.” We cannot leave town or drink tequila (!) during work hours, and must be ready to go to work if called.
I agree that one of the most important things we an do is limit our media consumption, and be selective about what media we are consuming. We must all be responsible media consumers, and overindulging in media is just as unhealthy as overindulging in alcohol or food.
Many times throughout the day, I get a glimpse into some tiny blessing that this virus offers. I do believe “to everything there is a season,” and I can’t be the only one who has been wishing that life would slow down a little. I’ve wished for more time with family.
Thank you again for your positive outlook and timeless wisdom. I love you both.
Jamie
Hi Jamie! How sweet to wake up to YOUR sweet comment this morning. And yes to us all being aware of how children are being effected by this crisis. I had no idea that teachers were “on call” and have to remain ready and able to step in if called. I’m hoping that teachers use the time to rejuvenate themselves during this time. I just read that someone suggested we call it a “retreat” rather than a shut down. That works for me and I’ll bet you too. We hope your move goes smoothly and can’t wait to for when you can host friends again in your new place! ~K & T
Thank you Kathy and Tom,
I needed to hear your message today. One of your last comments in particular: “we may not be able to comfort with touch, but we can with words.” I am finding it hardest to manage anxiety in my home with my husband and less so with the remote caregiving for my father and sister. Comforting my husband and friends with words is going to help me.
As for a way to reduce my stress, I am scheduling time to be creative, working on projects inside and once the weather is better, outside.
Take care
Jamie
Hi Jamie! Thank you. It can be a bit tricky trying to recommend ways to cope because we are all so different and what works for one might not work for another. So thank you for letting me know you found our ideas helpful. And at least we are hoping that they take people away from all the worrying news if only for a short time. Good for you for helping out your father and your sis. Your husband might act like he doesn’t need comforting, but I’m guessing that just your presence is an enormous comfort. Hang in there! ~Kathy