Some people are born storytellers. That’s why I have been, along with millions of others, a fan of Robert Fulghum. His short essays nearly always manage to touch my heart and remind me of what really matters in my life. So although I know we all have a lot on our mind with the holidays unfolding around us, I thought I’d share one of his short stories that will lead to what I am guessing we all hope to experience this holiday—and into 2021.
“One year I didn’t receive many Christmas cards. One fetid February afternoon this troublemaking realization actually came to me out of the backroom in my head that is the source of useless information. Guess I needed some reason to really feel crummy, so there it was. But I didn’t say anything about it. I can take it, I’m tough. I won’t complain when my cheap friends don’t even care enough to send me a stupid Christmas card. I can do without love. Right.
The following August I was nesting in the attic trying to establish some order in the mess and found stacked in with the holiday decorations a whole box of unopened greeting cards from the previous Christmas. I had tossed them into the box to open at leisure, and then ran out of leisure in the shambles of the usual holiday panic, they got caught up in the bale-it-up-and-stuff-it-in-the-attic-and-we’ll-straighten-it-out-next-year syndrome.
I hauled the box down, and on a hot summer day, middle of August, mind you, in my bathing suit, sitting in a lawn chair on my deck, with sunglasses, cocoa butter, a quart of iced tea, and a puzzled frame of mind, I began to open my Christmas cards. I had put a tape of Christmas carols on the portable stereo and cranked up the volume.
Here it all was. Angels, snow, Wise Men, candles and pine boughs, horses and sleighs, the Holy Family, elves and Santa. Heavy messages about love and joy and peace and goodwill. If that wasn’t enough there were all those handwritten messages of affection from my cheap friends who had, in fact, come through for the holidays.
I cried. Seldom have I felt so bad and so good at the same time. So wonderfully rotten, elegantly sad, and melancholy and nostalgic and all. Bathos. Utter bathos.
As fate always seems to have it, I was discovered in this condition by a neighbor, who had been attracted to the scene by the sound of Christmas caroling. She laughed. I showed her the cards. She cried. And we had this outrageous Christmas ordeal right there on my deck in the middle of August, singing along with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to the finely mighty strains of “Oh Holy Night.” “Faaalll on your kneeees, O heeeeer the angel vooiiicees.”
What can I say? I guess wonder and awe and joy are always there in the attic of one’s mind somewhere, and it doesn’t take a lot to set it off. And much about Christmas is outrageous, whether it comes to you in December of late August.”
So matter how you celebrate the holiday this year, perhaps it would be SMART for us each to take time to experience a few things that are sure to make this holiday special—they are wonder, awe, joy and the outrageousness of just being alive. And aren’t they some of the most important gifts of all?
- This selection is from Fulghum’s book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten
I love that, Kathy! I can totally relate to falling into self-pity, before realizing that everyone had come through and I hadn’t seen it.
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and have a joyous 2021!
That was delightful, my goodness I laughed, felt like crying and I sang. Thank you!
Hi Amanda! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living! I just peaked at your blog and you have a great one. So nice to meet new bloggers that offer a positive perspective on life in different ways. I’m looking forward to reading more of them…but I don’t think I could find a “subscribe” button. Did I just miss it? ~Kathy
Hi Kathy! Thank you for the visit and your kind words. I’m still learning this new fangled blog setup and will get on that “subscribe” button right away. I post every Sunday looking forward to more of your visits. Your blog is great!!
Hi Amanda! Good job on the subscribe button. Works great! I will definitely look for your posts and invite you to visit mine too. ~Kathy
What a great story. I laughed out loud in relatedness. I just spent some time browsing around your blog. I love the SMART acronym and what you’ve done with it. That’s brilliant. I look forward to reading more.
I also like Robert Fulgham’s book about learning important things in kindergarten. It’s so true — we complicate things so much as we “grow up.” In my No Way Cafe contemplation group, I often say that everything we need to know, we learn from breathing. Ha!
Thanks for stopping by my blog, and best wishes for the holidays — with or without holiday cards!
Hi Galen! Thank you. I am also a fan of your blog although I don’t get around to it nearly as often as I should. While I have never specifically studied The Course of Miracles I do read quite a bit of zen stuff so I love reading your take on that and so much more. May you too have a wonderful holiday and may 2021 be a fresh and wonderful new start for us all. ~Kathy
I appreciate you posting this short story, Kathy. Robert Fulghum shares a great deal of wisdom. As some of the other comments indicate, emotions can run high for different reasons and the holiday season can be difficult for many people. For us, the gift of presence has always been the best present. This year it will be via Zoom. Always grateful. Merry Christmas to you and Thom, Kathy.
Hi Erica. Thank you. Fulghum does have a lot of wisdom and still manages to say in a way that touches my heart. And thank you for pointing out that emotions can run high this time of year for all sorts of reasons so attempting to be as kind and compassionate as possible is always a good time. Plus I completely agree that “the gift of presence has always been the best present.” Merry Christmas to you and Chuck and your entire family. ~Kathy
This is a great story that contains numerous morals! Thank you for sharing this.
Hi Donna! Anything that reminds us of what matters most for a quality life is something I enjoy being reminded of–and Robert Fulghum does it in such a loving and humorous way. That’s probably why I like him so much. I’m glad you liked it! ~Kathy
I think that having a Christian faith brings a lot more awe and wonder around Christmas and Easter when I look away from the consumerism (and greed) and all that these seasons have been turned into, and remember why we have them – add that to spending some lovely time with family and I’m just blissed out (and usually fairly exhausted by the end of it all!) Have a great Christmas Kathy – full of awe, wonder, and delight xx
Hi Leanne! I think it is great that your faith allows you to step away from all the consumerism and excess that has become such a part of the holiday (especially here in the U.S!) Fortunately for those of us who do have a strong connection to what matters to us, (no matter what that tradition may be), the holiday time can indeed be a time to bliss out with love, connection and gratitude. May you and your family have a wonderful Christmas Leanne! ~Kathy
Mixed emotions are part of life. And, so much depends on our moods too! Happy holidays, Kathy, Thom, and Kloe!
Hi Liesbet! Isn’t that the truth? Mixed emotions and moods can color ANY experience in so many ways. By reminding myself that “I get to make it up” is what I do to bring myself back. And the best of holidays to you, Mark and Maya! May we connect again in 2021 in a positive way! ~Kathy
Funny Story! I hate to write this but I miss the Christmas letters that people don’t seem to send very often anymore but substitute an on line paragraph with a picture and a message of Good Cheer. I send cards and like to get them in return.
Hi Haralee! I gave up sending cards years ago but I do have mixed emotions about them. I enjoyed the funny ones and loved the personal ones…but the ones that were just a recap of a person’s (family’s) life seemed the opposite of personal. Good for you for keeping the tradition alive in a way that works for you. May your entire holiday experience be wonderful! ~Kathy
What a lovely story! It was a great illustration that, so often, what we choose to feel isn’t always based in reality, and tidings of comfort and joy can be found throughout the year.
Hi Janis! Isn’t it easy to forget that what we think isn’t always true? This is a good time of year for me to remember that! And YES to finding those “tidings” all year long. May this holiday season be the start of a new year where we see more and more of it all around the world. ~Kathy
Kathy, the story is beautiful, but they are just ‘extra words’ when you have THAT photo opening the post! Simply beautiful. Thanks for sharing both the story and the photo. Cheers!
Hi Suzanne! Thanks for letting me know you liked the photo I found. I get most of my photos off of unsplash and nothing seem to fit the theme of awe and wonder until I saw this one. May we all great the season with this emotion. ~Kathy
Absolutely, the most wonderful gifts of all! Thank you for posting this, Kathy.
Deb
Hi Deb! Can’t we all use a little wonder, awe and outrageousness in our life? ~Kathy
I love Robert Fulgham. His writing has helped me craft numerous talks for retirements, births, weddings, and funerals. He is a master of emotional awareness, empathy, and sensitivity. I’ve not read the story you transcribed, but I did enjoy it. Thanks for this post.
Hi Jeanette! I so agree. He writes on so many topics that touch human life and adds wonderful content to any talk or speech. I’ve quoted him often in the past but hadn’t for awhile so it was time to leaf through his classic. Glad you liked it. ~Kathy
Loved this! Thank you, and Happy Solstice!
Thank you! And Happy Solstice to you too! ~Kathy