Back when we thought we knew just about everything.
Can you remember back to a time when you thought you knew everything there was to know about life and love? Thom and I were talking the other day about how dramatically that has changed for us. As Thom likes to say, “The older I get, the less I know, but the more I understand.” Do you feel the same? With that in mind, Thom and I came up with 60 things we think we now understand that we didn’t even know we didn’t know when we were young. If you are over 40, take this test to see if you agree. If you are younger than 40, then here are some things we think you have to look forward to understanding on a deeper level as you age.
- _____That you won’t live forever so make the most of today.
- _____That it’s never wise to make a big life decision when you are in pain, drunk or high.
- _____That the best things in life aren’t things at all.
- _____That age or education has nothing to do with whether you can trust someone or not.
- _____That it’s good to tell those you love that you love them, every single day.
- _____That you shouldn’t put off your dreams or adventure to a time when you “retire.”
- _____That the perfect looking “family” is seldom “perfect.”
- _____That 60 doesn’t feel old when you reach that age.
- _____That the best family is often the good friends you’ve made along the way.
- _____That imagination, creativity, and curiosity can take you further in life than a prestigious education.
- _____That’s it’s better to be alone than be stuck in a relationship with the wrong person.
- _____That you can do more than you think you can.
- _____That comparing yourself to others about anything can make you miserable.
- _____That lots of money, a big house and a fancy car do not lead to happiness.
- _____That most people are happiest overall when they reach age 70.
- _____That using sunscreen is ALWAYS a good idea.
- _____That people who are rich and successful are not usually any happier than you.
- _____That getting to know yourself—what motivates you, what you care about, what makes your heart sing—is the greatest journey you’ll ever take.
- _____That whoever you hang out with greatly influences your happiness, your weight, your education, your income and your future. Choose wisely!
- _____That it’s possible to be healthy, active, sharp and sexy at 90.
- _____That practicing gratitude every single day can turn your life around.
- _____That your brain will continue to grow and learn if you do.
- _____That sometimes bad things happen to good people, but it’s always possible to spring back and live a happy and meaningful life.
- _____Taking the time to be mindful, meditate or quiet your mind is important every single day!
- _____Good health is more precious than you ever realize.
- _____That the amount of happiness you experience is mostly a choice.
- _____That people are far more resilient than they realize.
- _____That if 60 looks old to you, you’ve got the wrong role models.
- _____That abuse is never justified.
- _____That the best time of your life is RIGHT NOW!
- _____That it’s nice to have friends along on a journey, but if no one wants to go with you, don’t let that stop you.
- _____That having a clear and aware mind is better than any amount of alcohol or drugs.
- _____That all professionals, or people in authority, don’t always know more or have your best interests at heart.
- _____That the best relationships get better and better as they go on, and only get old and stale if you do.
- _____That sex gets better and better as your relationship goes on, and only gets old and stale if you do.
- _____That being heavily in debt is a horrible kind of slavery.
- _____That your spouse can be your BBF if you are really, really fortunate.
- _____That a genuine smile can be the best accessory you can ever posses.
- _____That most people hardly notice or remember what you wore or what you own most of the time.
- _____That a friend that cares more about what you own or what you can give them, rather than who you are, isn’t much of a friend.
- _____That if you don’t like where you are living then move. Don’t wait. Don’t settle. Move to a location that makes you happy when you’re young or you probably won’t ever do it.
- _____If your family doesn’t support your dreams it might be time to move on and find a new family who does.
- _____That the sooner your rightsize your life, the happier you will be.
- _____If something isn’t working in your life, don’t keep doing it over and over and expect a different result.
- _____You will regret the things you didn’t do in your life far more than anything you ever do.
- _____The person you decide to marry will have more influence on the quality of your overall life than just about anything else.
- _____That people who choose not to have children are usually just as happy as those who do.
- _____That no one owes us anything—our parents, our spouses, or employers or life itself—if we want do something it is up to us.
- _____The entire universe does not revolve around us—our thoughts, our fears, our dreams. If we want to do something it is up to us.
- _____That no one can hold us back from doing what we dream of doing unless we let them.
- _____That sacrificing ourselves to make others happy, sucks for us and seldom works anyway.
- _____That being kind and doing good things for others (for the right reasons) can be even more rewarding and satisfying than doing them for yourself.
- _____That what you give out comes back to you in every way.
- _____That achieving true success has very little to do with how others define it, and everything to do with what you hold important.
- _____That your parents knew more and had more wisdom than we ever thought they did.
- _____That nature, and a healthy planet play a far bigger role in our wellbeing than we usually realize.
- _____That a good attitude and an aware consciousness are the most important things you can strive for in your life if you want to find peace, happiness and meaning.
- _____That you can’t make someone like you or love you if they don’t want to.
- _____Just because you can do something, or you’re good at it, doesn’t mean you should.
- _____Every day we can choose to be happy, loving and live life to its fullest… never forget that “we get to make it up!”
Writer and producer Norman Lear who recently turned 93 said, “I realize I am a lot older than a lot of other people. That’s true. But I’m not yet old.” I believe we become old when we stop learning, stop sharing our gifts and talents with others, and stop caring about the future. And it’s always SMART to remember that no matter what our age, we will likely understand things better as time goes by. I can’t wait to see what I understand at 90! What about you?
Did we forget anything? Please add in the comments below any thing you’ve learned or understand now that you didn’t know when you were young.
Very thought provoking, I’m 50 now and your right I’m thinking more and more like this at a this age. But I’m thankful that now I seem more willing to take advice and I find myself asking more questions befor I make decisions and asking for advice how to fix it. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Charles! Glad I made you think….that is one of my big intentions here on SMART Living. And yes to the fact that I think many of us are learning to trust ourselves more as we age. Let’s keep remembering the advantages and sharing that knowledge with those following behind. It’s time we start looking forward to the benefits instead of lamenting the losses. ~Kathy
Can you imagine starting life with the knowledge that you’ve gained through living it. Although, like everything else there are some disadvantages to that. I really enjoyed this Kathy!
Hi Rena! Glad you liked this one. Yes it would be interesting to be born with the knowledge that we have now. Wasn’t there a movie a few years ago about someone living life backward? I don’t think he remembered everything backwards, but still it would make an interesting story to see where that would lead. More importantly though, might be remembering to use all the knowledge we’ve gathered as much as possible right where we are? I sure wish I would!!!! ~Kathy
What a delightful list! Definitely one for the refrigerator! Living for today, letting go of regrets and making sure to always have chocolate in the house helps! I really like 57, 37, 30 and 24! Oh and 5, yes yes yes, telling those we love them today – because there may not be a tomorrow… great post!
Hi Ulla! Thank you so much for sharing your favorites. Like so many things I post here, I think I’m “preaching to the choir” because chances are good that we (especially those close to my age!) have experienced and learned most of these ourselves. But I also find it so very valuable to be reminded of the good things we know and push back against what the media and sometimes our culture tries to put on us. I’d far rather focus on all the good in my life right now rather than other things out there, wouldn’t you? Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
All excellent points. I wouldn’t be 17 again for the world. Life is too sweet now, even if sometimes there are aches, pains, and challenges.
Hi Beverly! How are you? I hope all is well for you these day and yes, I so-o-o-o agree that 17 and a lot of those ages between where I am and there is not something I would choose. Learning to be happy right, now, where we are…is a real key. ~Kathy
Great list, Kathy. I will be turning 60 in about 2 months. So many of these resonated with me. Especially about family and relationships. I learned a number of years ago that it was okay to “pick” your family. Unfortunately I learned the hard way these last 3 years that family might not be the people you are related to. My husband’s family has become my family now and I am okay and at peace with that. I also loved #33. I started to learn that lesson back in my 30’s when I ended a long term relationship. It is truly liberating to face the fear of doing things by yourself and truly learning more about yourself in the process.
Fabulous list!! I’m convinced that there are things we can only learn and understand when we learn and understand them, and not sooner. I also believe that we learn the same lessons over and over again, but from a wiser place, and so the lesson is partly old and partly new. And for this reason, I love that I get to age.
Hi Karen! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. I so agree that it’s impossible to learn something until we are good and ready. What’s the zen saying, “When a person is not ready a boulder can fall on them and they won’t get the message. But when a person is ready all it takes is a feather.” ~Kathy
Hi Kathy –
What a great reminder of the many truths we have learned along the way. Love it!
Nancy
Hi Nancy! I know you are younger than me so I’ll bet you can add some things of your own to this list. How’s the saying go? Insanity is defined as doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy! 24 is of course my favourite, mindfulness and meditation are two of the most important “things” in my life, but 47 is important to me too – we chose not to have children and have never regretted it. And 28 – we are so lucky now to have the internet and to be able to choose suitable role models to inspire us!
Hi Margaretha! I don’t know about you but I had no clue abut how important mindfulness and meditation would become to me at this age. I had read about it, but that’s about it. Now it is so very, very important. I’d bet that most of us couldn’t even imagine that certain things would take on the importance they have at this time of our life but I continue to believe it is important to remember and acknowledge that whenever possible. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
Great list, thank you! Now if only I can figure out how to get my kids to read it too! I came here from #BlogShareLearn.
Hi Shirley! Thanks for stopping by! Sorry I have NO advice about how to get others to read it. 🙂 Good luck with that! ~Kathy
Hi Mary! Glad you liked it. Do you have anything to add? ~Kathy
Brilliant and absolutely spot on! #BlogShareLearn
Hopped over from the blog share learn linky, so happy I did! Wonderful list, filled with wisdom and truth 🙂
Hi Crystal! I doubt there is anything new here but if you’re anything like me it is good to be reminded. Thanks for stopping by! ~Kathy
You will regret the things you didn’t do in your life far more than anything you ever do. That a good attitude and an aware consciousness are the most important things you can strive for in your life if you want to find peace, happiness and meaning.
Those are two of my favorites, Kathy. Great and very thoughtful post. And this one: That the best time of your life is RIGHT NOW! That’s the GREEN LIGHT for love, creativity, kindness and empathy. I hope I will remember that every day, Beth
Hi Beth! Thank you for your comment and for letting me know you had trouble posting a comment. My spam blocker has a mind of it’s own for sure. Glad you liked those two “truths” as well. I had a lot of fun (and satisfaction) thinking these through. I’ll bet if you let it sit with you, you’d be able to come up with even more to add. Let me know if you do. ~Kathy
This is a great list and one that I agree comes with age and self reflection. Turn 40,50,60 and this list is your poster of life!
I think many points are difficult for many people because they can not or will not self reflect on their life and or take responsibility.
Hi Haralee! Thank you for checking in and letting me know you’ve experienced much of the same. I do think it takes some self-reflection but I’ll bet most of us arrive at the same conclusions. Of course, even if we do there are probably those who don’t want to take responsibility for knowing what we know. Shoot! Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to either! 🙂 Still, being powerless is even worse IMHO. Thanks for sharing those thoughts! ~Kathu
Very extensive list. I have to say, my sixties have, possibly, been my most productive so far. I look forward to more good years.
b
Hi Barbara! Thank you so much for checking in and confirming that our 60s are AWESOME!!!! And YES to us all for more good years. ~Kathy
That is a fantastic list! Maybe because I just turned 60, those items related to age resonated with me the most. I especially liked #8 (that 60 doesn’t feel old when you reach that age). If you had asked my much younger self how I would feel about turning 60, I think I would have said something about being old and decrepit and, perhaps, not very happy. How wrong I would have been! I feel wonderful and am happier than ever! And, if #15 is right (that most people are happiest overall when they reach age 70), and I don’t doubt that it is, I have even better things to look forward to!
Hi Janis! Yes isn’t it funny how our perception of age changes? When Thom and I first got together and I introduced him to my parents we BOTH thought they were “old” and yet they were only in their 40s!!!! Of course I tend to think that our generation is aging differently than our parents but I also know some people our age who still think that way. Far better to realize all the good things in our lives right now AND all the good to come. Let’s do our best to live that! ~Kathy
I absolutely love this list, Kathy! Nodding, smiling, and laughing through it all! As the protagonist in my new novel says, “The things we believed in youth are laughable.”
Not always of course, but here are 60 of them!
Agree, agree, agree!
Hi Susan! It sounds like the character in your new novel is very SMART! 🙂 Isn’t it amazing how that idea of what we think we know as time goes by is so illusive? And yes sometimes just plain funny. Any you want to add? I’m sure if we all think about it we’d come up with more. ~Kathy
I thoroughly enjoyed all these reminders. However, I can not agree with #33. Is there a misprint or missing word here?
That’s what Eileen meant . . . your #33 is missing the word “don’t.” They don’t always know more.
Thanks Nancy! I guess this is proof positive that I should not try to comment until AFTER I’ve had my coffee. Thanks to you and Eileen!
Hi Eileen! Yes! Thank you for pointing out that I really meant to put the word “don’t” in there. I’ve sure learned and I’ll bet you have too that “authorities” may or may not have your interests in mind. Always better to check for ourselves right? Anything else you could add? ~Kathy
Wow Kathy! This list is outstanding and one that I’d like to keep in my back pocket the next time one of our children tries to suggest they “know more about it”. LOL
The messages of our youth culture can be misleading to the young. It suggests they really do know more; that they really are “the bee’s knees” and they’re “all that”. So I can’t blame some of them if they believe it. But what are they missing as a result? What is our culture missing as a result?
Hi T.O. I think one of the advantages of thinking you know everything when you are young is that you don’t let what you don’t know hold you back. That can be good for us when weren’t young for sure. As we get older we can talk ourselves out of just about anything if we let ourselves. So I really do think it is a balance (just like most things right?) We’ve just gotten so youth obsessed that it seems as though there is no benefit to getting older except to entertain ourselves until we die. If as a culture we could learn to work together and balance the enthusiasm and courage of youth with the wisdom and knowledge of age, we could get through anything! ~Kathy