Have you ever wondered how some people seem to get crankier the older they get? Have you ever worried that you might become one of them? Ever since we began staying in a 55 or older community, I have noticed that a few people seem downright cranky at their age. Luckily, the vast majority are friendly and kind but there are still a few that you quickly know to avoid. How does that happen? Were they always that way? While I suppose some circumstances could lead to a person becoming justifiably cranky and disagreeable (like pain or loss) I think we likely have more choice in the matter than we know. Plus, lately I’ve come across some new insights that would likely contribute to the mindset—those come from what is called “collective illusions.” [Read more…]
Are You Safe—Or Is It Just Another Trick of the Mind?
“Safety is something that happens between your ears, not something you hold in your hands.” ~ Jeff Coop
The view from the deck of our temporary home in Mexico.
Do you spend a lot of time worrying about safety? The reason I ask is because that question has popped up a number of times since we decided to spend a month in Mexico. The location where we have landed is about 40 miles south of San Diego and a few miles south of Rosarito on the Baja coast. We have visited this area for the last 25 years on and off, have friends who live here full time, and have never once had an “incident” that would make us consider it unsafe. Yet, without a doubt, the first thing that anyone asks when we tell them where we are going is—“Is it safe?” [Read more…]
Why Can’t We Just Get Along?—And Other Thoughts on Compassion & Communication
Have you ever asked yourself what would happen if aliens ever found our planet and began monitoring our TV networks? Thom and I have asked ourselves that question—especially after hearing about reality shows like “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” But even if those aliens only tuned into our news channels and programs, what do you think their view of the human race would be? Unfortunately, the day-to-day hostility and aggression frequently viewed on those programs would likely be enough for any alien to determine that our species is egocentric, violent, and highly competitive. In fact, if you watch much TV news at all, the average person would probably be tempted to think the world is a very scary place and that any minute something horrible could happen. But is that true? Are we really that egocentric and violent? Or are we actually much more compassionate and empathetic than we sometimes believe? Maybe exploring those questions is one way to find out why we struggle to get along in this day and age. [Read more…]
Argue For Your Limitations And They’re Yours—Another Case Of Motivated Reasoning
Have you ever heard the statement, “Argue for your limitations, and they’re yours?” In case you’re wondering, that quote comes from a book written by Richard Bach titled, “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.” When I first read it years ago I thought I knew what it meant. What’s interesting is that I seem to need to learn that lesson over and over again.
Limitations, of course, are any excuses I use to hold myself back and not live the life I dream of living. Limitations are also the rationalizations we all use for doing or not doing something, or believing or not believing just about anything. The big problem is that limitations seem so real that we often think we have no choice but believe them. Fortunately, there is now scientific proof that much of what is going on in our minds are stories we tell ourselves—that may or may not be, true. So if we are making up stories as we go along—why on earth would we invent stories that limit us and hold us back?
How Open Minded Are you About Closed-Minded People?
Several years ago Thom and I attended a workshop where the speaker asked us the question, “How open-minded are you about closed- minded people?” It was asked in the context that here we all were, thinking we had the right and perfect solution to the world’s problems, and yet this simple question asked us, “so what makes you think you are so smart/spiritual/aware that you have the right/ true/correct answer to whatever is going on?” Huh?
SMART living requires that we are to take full responsibility for our lives if we want to live happy, and rewarding lives. But in order to be fully responsible for what’s going on, then we have to first be aware, and then second, realize that even when we think we know, there can always be a different or bigger perspective that we are clueless about. Even when we try to be as opened-minded as possible, we always have a blind spot here and there. And often, the more we fight something the more it “backfires.” [Read more…]