Most of the time I think I am one of the most fortunate and privileged persons on the planet because I get to write and do what I love all the time. I began writing seriously back in the mid-eighties then took up blogging seven years ago. Four years ago I created SMART Living 365 and every week since do my very best to share ideas about how each of us can live a happy, meaningful and rewarding life every day of the year. But although the mission of SMART Living usually keeps me focused on those things that inspire me and others, I do have my challenges. Ordinarily that has nothing to do with the writing, and everything to do with managing a website with limited technological understanding—like the last two weeks! Yet even then, the gift of blogging extends far beyond putting out an article on schedule and having everything go as planned. Ever wonder why a blogger, blogs? Maybe it’s because blogging offers life lessons available to us all.
Looking back over the last seven years of my blogging career, here are ten big life lessons I’ve learned.
#1 If you don’t love what you’re doing, pick something else. In many ways blogging may look and sound easy. After all, how hard can it be to post a quote, a cute photo of your kids, or a recipe like some bloggers do once or twice a week? And even if it is fun and easy for a while, the truth is that just like everything important in our lives, things get old and harder if you’re doing them for the wrong reasons. By the same token, if you do love what you do you’ll stick with it even when times get tough. Don’t compromise yourself or your time. Do what you love.
#2 You can’t please everyone so you’d better please yourself. As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve discovered that it usually backfires miserably when you try to put the needs of other people before your own. Not only does it make you unhappy and unfulfilled, others can tell how inauthentic you are and will reject you anyway. Far better as a writer, a blogger and a person to be true to yourself and give up attempting to win approval from others.
#3 Don’t do it for the money! In some ways writing/blogging is similar to the real estate business because from the outside it looks like an easy way to make money. Ha! Fortunately years ago I learned I wasn’t really any good at selling real estate and left it to write. Instead I found that both of those careers, just like most others, take time, talent and perseverance if you want to succeed. While some avocations can be rewarding for the right people, they can also be painful (and completely ineffective) for the wrong people. (Reread #1 above!)
#4 Don’t expect others to support you, just be happy when anyone does. My mom and dad used to own a successful western store. When I asked my mom one of the lessons she learned she said, “Don’t expect your friends or relatives to support your business.” In other words, just like as a writer, I’ve learned that not everyone will appreciate my writing, my topics, my books or my blog. While I feel fortunate that some of my friends follow my writing and have cultivated a number of blogger friends, I do my best not to have any expectations. Ultimately, I write for myself, and those people who appreciate and welcome what I have to say. (Reread #2 above!)
#5 Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. I’ve written a whole blog post about this one and remind myself about it frequently. Stuff happens. Last week my website email and comments broke and I’m still struggling to get them fixed. Stuff happens. While we cannot control the Universe nor keep unpleasant things from happening, we do have complete control about how we will respond.
#6 Writing is a gift that can clarify thinking, awareness, emotions and priorities. Sure it is gratifying to be able to share empowering ideas with others, but more than anything, this is why I write.
#7 You probably know more than you think you know—and what you don’t know, you can learn. I think most of us give up too soon or discount our ability to learn and grow through any experience we face. Believing deep inside that the answer exists and that we can find it helps to empower all that we do. Keep learning—keep growing.
#8 Pay no attention to the critics. Ever heard of a “troll?” A troll is an online critic who can anonymously attack you and your writing for absolutely no reason at all. My first troll attack left me shocked and distressed until I realized that trolls are just testing you to see if they can rile you or whether you are vulnerable to their attacks. Even more than that, trolls tell you that many others are reading your work. In fact, if you don’t get attacked now and then, you’re not reaching that many people.
#9 It’s crazy and ineffective to compare yourself to others. Millions of blogs now exist on the internet and it’s fairly easy to look around and wish you could do better. But doesn’t that exist with everything in life? Comparison kills happiness because it tells us we aren’t good enough or don’t have enough. Far better instead to remember that right now, who we are and right where we are is everything we need to be happy.
#10 Find your purpose and stick with it. Why do you blog? Why do you do anything? Knowing the “why” behind our efforts is critical. As author and Nazi Death Camp survivor Viktor Frankl said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’” Everything we do, even those things we love most of the time will challenge us. To the extent we can stay focused on the why we do what we do, we will overcome momentary challenges and continue creating a work that is meaningful and hopefully helpful to others.
I’m sure I’ve learned more things about life in my seven years of blogging but these stood out today as something I need to remember. As always, it’s SMART to be aware and conscious about the choices we make on a regular basis. Only then can we say we live SMART 365.
Now your turn…regardless of whether you’re a blogger or not, what life lessons would you like to share with everyone?
Hi Kathy,
I came across the title of this post on Shineferer’s blog and i decided to visit your page using a link she posted. I must say as a new blogger i am quite encouraged. It is great to be clear about why one is blogging; keep writing and be open to learning. I am having fun so far meeting other bloggers and learning generally from the community. Now all i have to do is to stay at it in spite of my crazy schedule. I hope to pick up lessons about life as i go on. Come to think of it here is a few that i have picked in the short time:
* If your post will make a difference to one person then it is worth writing and been posted
* Blogging gives an opportunity to maet new people and your comment might just make an otherwise grey day filled with sunshine.
Still learning….
Thanks for sharing
Hi Adebisi! Thank you so much for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. Congratulations to you for starting a blog. I will definitely come by and support you. As you say, meeting other bloggers both near and far is such a pleasure. And good for you for so quickly grasping how fulfilling it can be to touch others (even if it is just ONE other person) and help uplift and encourage others. As you say, “Blogging gives an opportunity to meet new people and your comment might just make an otherwise grey day filled with sunshine.” And please come back to visit SMART Living if you get a chance because I would love to hear some of your perspectives on what I write about. I suspect is very “local-centric” but hope at least some of the ideas are Universal enough to touch people no matter where they are in the world. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy!
I am thrilled that I am once again receiving email alerts to your posts! Whatever the universe did to fix that, I am grateful!
I’ve been struggling lately with my blog (lack of motivation, mostly) so several of your lessons resonated with me. Although I’d love to be one of those bloggers who post regularly, I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I will post when the spirit moves me (and the spirit has apparently been on summer vacation). I always look forward to reading your thoughtful posts and this one was no exception. I’ve never been trolled but I can’t imagine what would motivate someone to troll you. Sheesh.
Hi Janis! Yay! I switched my email program to Mail Chimp ( I had been doing it myself all these years) and perhaps your server likes that better? All I did was transfer all the email subscriptions over to it and then make up a template and now that’s the way it will be sent out. There was a learning curve but I just couldn’t figure out the other problems I was having with the old way of doing it. Time for a change. Besides, now it is easier for people to unsubscribe if they want off. No point in having people on the list that aren’t interested right?
And yes it is more challenging to write and post during the summer–I don’t blame you a bit. But for me it was more of a trouble to figure out why my mailprogram (and comments) were acting wiggy. So easy to take for granted when everything works the way it is supposed to. I’m happy to say that is working out well now and things are settling down. I’ll bet it will work that way for you…but then again, there should be benefits to what we are offering so I say if you’re not ready don’t do it! ~Kathy
Thanks this is a very helpful post. As a newbie blogger I have learnt loads not just about writing, which was my original intention but some quiet random things. I’ve been lucky and not experienced a troll, so far I’ve only come across very supportive and encouraging people
Hi Eric! Welcome to SMART Living 365 and I’m glad you found some of my thoughts on blogging helpful as a new blogger. And good for you for recognizing that there are LOTS of great and supportive people in the blogosphere for us all. But don’t be afraid of critics or trolls either. They are evidence that you are reaching a wide market. Not everyone in the world will like us or agree with us, but when we have the courage to speak our truth accepting that, then our writing will have real power. Thank for your comment! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Thank you for this great post. Can I share this on my site? I think it is definitely helpful for us new bloggers to have insights from a veteran writer like you 🙂 Thank you for keeping up the good work and I’m glad you are doing what you love 🙂
Hi Shine! I’m glad you liked the post and found it helpful as a new blogger. Sure you may definitely link this post on your site but please do not post more than a “paragraph” of it with a link because I will probably post it first on some other sites. Thank you for asking and KEEP BLOGGING! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
I’ve shared your post in my site. You can check it out if you want. 🙂 Here’s the link.
https://shinepositivepower.wordpress.com/?p=67&preview=true&preview_id=67
Thank you again!
Hi Kathy !
So nice to read this post; I write to be connected, to express gratitude and now I am beginning to realise writing has therapeutic value. Its a space for myself and I am free to write when I am free and when I feel like, there is no one monitoring me. As you rightly put it we cannot please everyone and comparisons will only make matters worse… thanks for inspiring me, I have always enjoyed your posts and hope to learn from you. .. I like your blog
Hi G Angela! Thank you so much for letting me know you enjoyed this one AND adding what you really appreciate about the blogging experience as well. I’ve enjoyed connecting with you through your blog AND your facebook page. How wonderful to reach across the world and connect to people that we otherwise would never get a chance to know. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy, The perfect list, I really love 6, 7, and 10. I have read Victor Frankl’s book twice and it continues to challenge me to discern my purpose, my “why” to live. Thank you so much for sharing your life wisdom.
Hi Terri! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this. Yes, isn’t Victor Frankl’s book amazing. Any time I think I am going through a rough spell all I have to do is remember him and his life. So inspiring. Let’s never forget the “why” gor our blogging! ~Kathy
I hate to even tell you this because I know what problems you have been having, but when I went to share this on Twitter got a 404 error message (broken link) so you just need to reconnect your Twitter I would think. If you ever need any techy help I may be able to help you. It is a hobby of mine. I love the list you made. I’ve learned so much since I started blogging and I would be broken hearted if I were to stop.
Hi Rena! Hahaha! No REALLY! I definitely appreciate it when anyone tells me when something is “off” on the website because sometimes from our end it doesn’t show up. Besides, I’ve tackled a couple of really big issues in the last couple of weeks and am feeling pretty strong! 🙂 But as far as the twitter feed, lots of others have tweeted this post, and I just tried myself and it worked fine. Maybe it was just a freak thing? I’m hoping so but I ALWAYS appreciate you letting me know. ~Kathy
These are great, Kathy! And isn’t it amazing what we learn from blogging! I’ve found myself in many of these. It’s like that old saying, when we teach, we learn more than our students do 🙂
I especially love: “Writing is a gift that can clarify thinking, awareness, emotions and priorities.” Oh, how very true! Writing out emotions (and don’t we always strive to write from the emotional side?) helps me to make sense of them, and to let go of the negative ones.
Thank you for this! Always love your posts. http://www.susanmarymalone.com/14-things-that-make-me-smile/
Hi Susan! Thanks for letting me know these rang true to you too. I guess I’ve been doing Julie Cameron’s “pages” so long that I can’t help but know that writing has been therapeutic to me in so many ways. And yes, until we can be honest with ourselves and admit our emotions, I believe it is very difficult to share them (in our writing) or let go of them as the need arises. Thanks for adding that bit of insight! ~Kathy
Lots of great learnings in this post, Kathy. I think my personal biggest learning is that when I try to keep up with others’ posting schedules, I become miserable. I know bloggers who post daily (and some multiple times per day). Unless I have something insightful, funny, wise, beautiful or even just plain silly to share, I don’t post. It helps that this thinking is also well suited to my more hectic-than-usual lifestyle at the moment.
Side note: I wish some other bloggers showed a wee bit more restraint on their prolific publishing schedules some times. 🙂
Hi Nancy! Isn’t it the truth that some bloggers seem obsessed with constant posting? I would follow more of them myself but if I get too many emails from one blogger I will just unsubscribe rather than face that every day. As it is I get so MANY emails that I can barely keep up anyway–that’s why one a week is my idea of “perfect!” And as you say, “Unless I have something insightful, funny, wise, beautiful or even just plain silly to share, I don’t post.” That’s exactly why so many of us follow you Nancy! Have a great week and don’t work so hard! ~Kathy
No truer words were spoken. Love how you’ve summed up your experience but also shared some pearls of wisdom. Very nice.
Hi Diana! Thank you so much for checking in and letting me know you liked this one. And now I MUST come and discover how a fly inspired you to self-publish! ( I love that blog post title!) ~Kathy
As a recovering people-pleaser, #2, 8 and 9 resonated with me the most – and I’m still working on them. 😉 All were such valuable lessons. While I don’t believe I need to know everyone’s ‘Why’ they do things, or why things happen – I do like your #10 – we need to discover and know our own ‘why’. I wonder how many of us do? As always – wonderful, thought provoking post, Kathy.
Hi Kate! I’m actually still working on ALL of them on-and-off to varying degrees but while I’m not where I hope to eventually be yet, I am SO-O-O much further than where I started. And yes I agree that we don’t need to (and probably can never) know other people’s “why”. But if we don’t find our own we be tossed around without a ship without a rudder depending upon the weather. Such a gift for us writers who are willing to go there….no better way to find out that to write about it IMHO. Thanks so much for your comment. ~Kathy
#1 and 2 resonate the most. I’ve twice had to pull myself back on track when I found I was trying to do what others did instead of staying true to who I am. Hopefully the lesson sticks this time!
Hi Jennifer! Thanks for joining the conversation. And yes, I’ll bet #1 and #2 are big for everyone on the planet–writer or not! And I’m guessing these issues are something we learn–and then forget about. If I’m any example I need to learn them over and over and over again whenever I’m faced with a choice and decision. I think saying true to ourselves is a lifelong journey so hopefully we learn to enjoy the challenge along the way. ~Kathy
You always have great advice, Kathy! Every one of them are words I live by! I never had a troll, but I know he or she can come any day and I think I am prepared. But maybe nothing prepares you, eh?
Hi Jodi! Wow! With all your great work I can’t believe you haven’t been trolled yet! 🙂 Like I mentioned on another comment I got my first troll after posting one of my articles on Reddit where they hang out a lot. At first I thought they might have a valid issue and just needed clarification. Ha! That is just bait to suck you into the conversation. I tried to reason with them and they just came back more vicious! Yikes. I’ve since learned to just ignore them. But in the big picture I think trolls are just another form of “critic” that we all face both internally or externally. Do we let them stop us? Do we think we have to justify ourselves to them or anyone? The lesson for me is that while some advice can be useful, letting anyone else stop me from what I need to do is not acceptable. Having read your blog for a while I’m betting you think the same way. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy, you’ll be happy to know that your email made it through and all is good. Great post as always and I would have to agree that finding supportive friends has been the biggest bonus/surprise out of all the things I’ve learned about blogging. ~ Leanne
Hi Leanne! Thank you for letting me know! I worked on it most of the week and had a few more glitches along the way but I’m happy to say I think I have it covered. And yes to finding other blogger/writers out there who resonate. That is definitely something to celebrate. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
I enjoyed your article. Isn’t that great about Comment Luv? When you posted your comment on my site, I was able to see this headline. I was intrigued and clicked.
Of everything you wrote, what I could relate to more than anything was your introduction. I, too, am having tech troubles the last two weeks. I once read, “We read to find out we are not alone.” I found out I am not alone in the tech struggle boat by reading this. Thanks!
Janice
Hi Janice! Thank you for stopping by! Yes I do appreciate Comment Luv and put it on my site because it is one great way I find out about other bloggers who offering interesting blogs and articles. I also appreciate the other bloggers who use it because that also provides great link-backs to my work. And yes, I don’t know if most people can understand what it’s like to face the “technical challenges” that come with blogging EXCEPT FOR other bloggers facing similar issues. So, yes remember “YOU ARE NOT ALONE!” I hope you find the info you’re looking for and if I can ever help in any way, please just let me know. ~Kathy
thanks for good advice! I am trying to follow it!
Hi Tam! Thank you — and THANK YOU for encouraging me to go with Mail Chimp for my emails. It took a day (or too) to figure things out and I want to make some tweaks for sure but I did it! It always feels so empowering to be faced with a challenge and then figure it out IMHO and you were helpful along the way. ~Kathy
Great points Kathy. I am grateful of the people, like yourself that I have virtually met with blogging. I never anticipated to get to know and like people just because I read their blogs. That is my lesson, be open to the unplanned opportunities in life.
Hi Haralee! Thanks as always for your comment. And YES…that is another thing that blogging teaches us–“be open to unplanned opportunities in life” because things will happen that we don’t necessarily expect but for the most part they are good! And connecting with writers like you has been especially rewarding! ~Kathy
Once people monetize their blogs, the race is on to second guess themselves and post what they think will “sell” and possibly lose sight of the reason they started blogging. It can be easy to get caught up in stats. If we blog about our passions then it is easy, people will read and stay because they see the passion in our content. My happiness comes from feeling free to write and share photos about my passions and to connect with bloggers at such a deeper level than social media provides. Great post, Kathy!
Hi Terri! I agree. If we monetize our blog it does put pressure on us to post and write about things that “sell.” While I do review books that I’ve been sent a review copy of, I’ve also told publicist that if I cannot give a reasonably good review of a book, then I won’t do it at all. After all, how could I review something I didn’t believe in myself??? As you say, we have to stay with what we are passionate about and then it becomes a pleasure. And yes to connecting with other interesting and resonate writers! ~Kathy
Great advice Kathy. I think a lot of bloggers start up a blog thinking they are going to make a fortune only to find out that is not the case. You must blog for the love of writing and sharing your content with interested readers, not because you think it will earn you heaps of money. I’m so glad I have persevered with my blog after 3 years. I’m still loving it and yes it is earning me a little money!
Hi Kathy ! Yes, I think a good blog does make it all look easy and sort of hides how much work required as we both know. What’s nice is to do a blog because we love what we do, and then when some money comes in that’s just gravy! Congratulations on your three years AND for bringing in some money from your writing! ~Kathy
Kathy, I’m happy for you that you have most of the bugs worked out and your site is running well again. I’ve learned a lot about blogging in my almost four years of writing. It’s been a wonderful experience. Yes, I’ve run into issues along the way but I worked them out and learned from them. I too write for myself but I’ve met so many amazing people through blogging I am glad I did it.
Hi Lois! While I am hoping some of my life lessons will be helpful for all readers regardless of whether they blog, I know that other bloggers can definitely relate to the good, the bad and the ugly that sometimes pops up. But as long as we keep blogging (and yes, meeting great people!) the rewards can obviously be worth it. ~Kathy
I started writing and blogging what I wanted to write after retiring from a traditional, strait-laced career in the financial arena. The hardest part has been learning the technical stuff. But it is worth it.
Hi Meryl! Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Yeah, the technical stuff can be challenging but like I told my husband Thom, it’s like learning a new language (or two) and helps to keep our brains young and active–wouldn’t you agree. Good for you for giving up a very “traditional, strait-laced career” and now doing something you love. ~Kathy
Oh no, I haven’t been trolled yet! What am I doing wrong?! 🙂
Actually, I spent about two months stressing over my blog a couple of years back, and then I just stopped stressing. Stopped worrying about the frequency of my posts and the hits and the shares and the strategy and all of that. I don’t put much work into it, but I’ve stopped beating myself up over that, too. (I’d rather use the time for writing other stuff!) I love the community I have been able to create around my blog and through visiting a select number of others’ blogs (like yours!) and that is what is most important to me.
HI Laura! hahaha! Don’t worry…if you haven’t been trolled it is just a matter of time. I think I got my first when I put a link of one of my articles on Reddit….there are lots of them hanging out there. They are also on Huffington Post. Not to worry though because it sounds like you approach blogging in exactly the right way. And yes, finding other good blogs and great writer that you resonate with (like you of course!) makes the experience really great. ~Kathy
I was late to writing, but it has changed my life in wonderful ways. Blogging is the icing on that cake. Great list!
b
Hello, I love this post. I have been blogging for about nine months now and I have learned these lessons. I especially have to remind myself to write for myself first, if I wouldn’t want to read it, I don’t want to write it either. I also struggle with the technical things, but I am better at it than I thought! Thanks for sharing your insight.
Hi Michele! Thank you! I think it is so important for us bloggers to keep reminding ourselves why we do what we do because it’s so easy to start comparing ourselves with more successful blogs and doubt ourselves. I think we are each unique and offer that to the world as only we can so we must persevere! And what I didn’t say was that in my first 3 years of blogging I paid an “expert” to do my blog but you know what? It was actually more frustrating because I was completely at their mercy when anything went wrong! It might take me a while but I am usually able to fix things and I LOVE that! Thanks again for your comment and KEEP WRITING! ~Kathy
Great post, Kathy. Sorry about your site going down, but you seem to be moving ahead.
Writing has to be something that fills you up whether you get praise for it or not. And yes, you are offering something up to the gods of the internet and hoping they will look upon you with favor. Take care, Beth
Hi Beth! Yes it has been a couple of stressful weeks but all things considered it is a “high-class problem” for sure! 🙂 I’ve been doing my best to be non-resistant and non-attached but I am also relieved that I think I’ve pulled through it all….and yes may the gods of the internet be smiling on us both. ~Kathy
All so true and well-said too Kathy… The sentence that hit home for me: “Ultimately, I write for myself, and those people who appreciate and welcome what I have to say.”
Admitting that truth is so liberating for me! — LLC
Hi Laura Lee! Hooray! I am so happy that my new post notification service with Mail Chimp worked and that everyone on my list got the email! While I doubt I felt as happy and relieved as you did when you finally moved into your new home after a year, it does feel good. Now let’s celebrate right? Thanks for checking in and yes–let’s keep writing! ~Kathy
Like most, I receive a deluge of stuff in my inbox but I ALWAYS look forward to SmartLiving 365. Thank you so much for your articles, it’s clear you love what you do despite the inevitable blips that happen in our work and daily life. My 53rd birthday is rapidly approaching and you’ve given me a needed nudge to seek work I love rather than endure the familiar yet soul sucking career I am currently in.
Hi Mary! Thank you so much for checking in and letting me know you read my posts! It is always nice to know that you’re out there. I’m hoping my new email program will make it easier for people want to get my posts get them. I think I have most of the bugs worked out and now can just enjoy the process of sharing ideas. Thank you again for speaking up! ~Kathy
Great article! Like you, I believe that writing is a gift, which includes the passion for writing. We are so lucky! Thanks for writing this and thanks for sharing it! Keep writing 🙂
Hi Mona! Thank you for your comment and YES! Any of us who are privileged to write on a regular basis are very, very fortunate! ~Kathy