I’m not much of a shopper but I’ve seen women who make it a highly evolved sport. I’ve also struggled to understand how some women can spend enormous amounts of time and money—sometimes money they don’t have—buying things for themselves and others. Yet, I must confess that I’ve indulged in some retail therapy myself now and then and enjoyed it immensely. And yes, I too have spent money in the past I didn’t have. So what is it about shopping? Maybe it’s time for all of us to take a look at why we shop and begin to understand the motivation behind it so that we can become more conscious, SMART and responsible consumers.
Did you know dozens of research studies exist that attempt to anticipate and monitor our consumer buying habits? Major manufacturers and retailers spend huge amounts of money to search out why and when we buy what we buy, so they can use it to their benefit. Of course some of them say they want to enhance our shopping experience and “serve us” in the process. But when retailers know our motivations better than we often know it ourselves, they can use it to influence our decisions without our knowledge. I personally like to know when I’m being manipulated.
One of the most interesting studies is how women and men differ in buying habits. As most women know, men typically do not like to shop nearly as much as we do. There are actually two arguments for this. According to research done in 2009 by Daniel Kruger from the University of Michigan, our shopping differences likely evolved from our prehistoric hunter-gatherer/foraging days. Kruger says, “Within ancestral environments, it is likely that men were predominantly the hunters and women were predominantly the gatherers.” For thousands of years women traditionally spent entire days going out into the surrounding environment to find and select the highest quality food and resources available. When possible, women did it in groups with children tagging along. Meanwhile, men would head out for a hunt, frequently alone, and bag the biggest piece of meat they could find, and drag it home.
In some ways these same tendencies are still a part of many people’s current shopping experience. If women have the time, they will head out into the environment to browse and shop for the best items to feed and serve her and her family in all ways. Going from store to store to find one thing or another, or to find the best bargain possible is normal, reinforcing the idea that she has the instincts of a gatherer. Noting what store carries what item for future reference is all part of the selection process. And seasonal sales even mimic past eras when the “seasons” determined what products would be available at what time of year.
Meanwhile men tend to shop in a way I’ll call mono-focused. When Thom (my husband) wants to buy something, he hunts it down (the closer the better,) bags it, and drags it home as quickly and efficiently as possible. Guessing whether it is a seasonal product or soon to be on sale has little relevance. Another way of explaining these behaviors is by describing men’s buying habits as “conquering stuff,” and women’s shopping as “finding stuff.” Steve Tyler, PhD from Leeds Metropolitan University further reinforces these differences by saying, “ A survey of 2,000 British people conducted in 2013 found that men become bored after only 26 minutes of shopping, while it took women a full two hours.”
Also studied are the differences between men and women’s shopping habits as related to women as caregivers. Typically women are primary caregivers in the majority of households around the world. As author Bridget Brennan says, “In this primary care giving role, women find themselves buying on behalf of everyone else in their lives.” According to Wall Street Journal, women account for 78% of U.S. consumer spending—while other organizations saying the percentage is closer to 85. Another statistics say that women make 80% of all healthcare decisions for the family. When you consider that women wield such spending capital and are usually the “gateway” to everyone else in a family, finding a way to control the buying habits of the female consumer is of primary concern to retailers.
For example, retailers know that women often evaluate every purchase by how it will effect others they care about. They are highly influenced by reviews and recommendations. Considering those “unseen influences” is an important strategy. Research also shows that in most cases women react more strongly (either positively or negatively) to personal interactions with sales personnel.
Men on the other hand are mainly concerned with utility—does the store carry what they want, have good parking and then how long will it take to check out? A study called, Men Buy, Women Shop done by Wharton Business School says, women consider, “lack of help when needed” as a top problem (29%). It is also the likeliest reason that stores lose the business of women shoppers. Indeed, according to an analysis of the study’s data, about 6% of all female shoppers could be lost to stores due to lack of sales help. Men, however, ranked “difficulty in finding parking close to the store’s entrance” as their number one problem (also 29%). These facts are just a tiny tip of the information retailers are amassing on our spending habits.
But there is one final theory regarding women and shopping that caught my attention. According to Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. author of Women and Desire: Beyond Wanting to Be Wanted, women’s current urge to shop, “began historically, as an offshoot of advertising and commercialism, as a way to encourage women to feel in charge—deceptively inviting them to make choices and decisions of their own.” Although Young-Eisndrath acknowledges the hunter vs. gatherer ideas being tossed around by socio-biologists, she feels that women were actually “seduced by a liberation movement they didn’t design” beginning in the late Victorian era.
Young-Esendrath raises some interesting points. Acknowledging that women of the time, (even women of money) had little power outside the home, shopping began to be advertised as a way for women to “make their own choices.” Not only were they being asked what they “wanted” but they were also being treated in a special way by large department stores of the time that offered them tea and refreshments while reviewing their selections. For perhaps the first time in their lives, ordinary women were exposed to an exclusive world where they were catered to and made to feel empowered. Gradually, rather than shopping for necessities once or twice a year as had been the custom, stores and businesses began pushing to make shopping an every day experience where women could act upon their own desires. Who can argue with the lure of “controlling our own destiny” and “getting what we really want?” Don’t believe those tactics are still in use? Have you watched a television ad lately selling cosmetics, clothing or shoes?
Which of the above theories or research is most correct? Who really knows? All three are likely part of the complicated package of what motivates women to shop and/or eventually buy things. What I do know is that the more I dug into the research and ideas behind why we shop, the more I realized I was only touching the surface of this complicated issue. That’s why in Part 2 (next week) I plan to explore more of what I’ve uncovered as well as how this information can be used against us if we don’t stay awake, aware and SMART about why women shop.
Photo Credit: Kanaka Menehune on Flickr Creative Commons
A while back I watched a documentary on the first department store that welcomed women. It was eye-opening to see how giving women the power to make their own choices influenced how we shop today. As you know I don’t enjoy shopping. There are a few reasons. First my mother had an obsession with shopping, especially for shoes and her children went without so she could have what she wanted which angered me. But the bigger reason is that I was fortunate to be able to leave the city to camp for six weeks every summer where there were no stores and no signs or sounds of modern life. I grew to love the outdoors more than any building.
Hi Lois! Oh I bet that documentary would be interesting for sure. And it sounds like you have plenty of reasons to not be enamoured with shopping. I think much of the shopping attraction is what we see and observe from others AND lack of connection with nature that makes shopping seem like such a good activity for some women. In some ways you were very fortunate to learn what you learned about it. Thanks as always for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
I have found that, as I get older, my shopping strategy has changed. When I was younger I could browse for hours. Now I find I only head to the department store when I have a specific item I am looking for. I may browse for that item but once it is obtained I am done. This doesn’t mean I may not gather a few other items along the way, I just don’t have the interest in randomly wandering around. I wonder if it is a maturity thing, a “I’m tired of stuff” thing or perhaps a lack of estrogen thing…
Hi Laura! Welcome to SMART Living 365. Yes, I do think we change as we “mature” and in so many ways that is a good thing. I too seemed to shop and browse more when I was younger and no I have very little interest in that. I can shop when I need to and if I have something specific I’m looking for, but otherwise I pass. Of course I do like browsing through art stores or ones that carry unusual things just to see them–especcially when traveling…but fortunately I live in a small house and detest clutter so we very, very seldom buy anything. I agree that “stuff” for stuffs sake isn’t good. And yes, about the estrogen thing. Did you read my Part II yet? ~Kathy
For me, shopping is bonding time. I developed my love of shopping from my mom and passed it down to my daughters. It is a great activity to spend time together, share thoughts and ideas, and enjoy each other’s company — plus pick up some items a long the way.
Hi Caryn! Thanks for your thoughts on this. You’re right, shopping can be really nice bonding time with those we like. It can certainly be a great way to enjoy ourselves. And who says we have to spend money to do it? If we approach it as a bonding or entertainment time, then shopping can indeed be fun. ~Kathy
Great post Kathy and well researched!
I am not a huge fan of shopping for a variety of reasons…one being exactly what you have pointed out: commercial manipulation.
That being said, I love browsing through thrift shops and used books and record stores. And could spend hours looking through everything. Maybe I’m just looking for that perfect item to “bag”? 🙂
I look forward to reading Part 2 and thanks again for an entertaining and insightful post.
Take care and all the best.
Lyle
Hi Lyle! It sounds like you’d make a pretty good forager actually! Of course I think most men are equally good at “hunting” things if they are things they are interested in. Thom can spend a LOT of time at Home Depot or Lowe’s looking at all kinds of gadgets but can’t stand it if I want to “browse” a shoe store. 🙂 Just stay conscious right? ~Kathy
Great article. I’m not much of a shopper, but my husband is – go figure.
Hi Cristin! Welcome to SMART Living. I tend to think that those of us who blog and are busy simply don’t have the time in the same way as some women. My next post has some really interesting STATS about why any of us do–men or women–so please check back and let me know what you think. ~Kathy
I used to be a chronic shopper but now that I no longer work full-time and don’t need as many clothes I shop less and spend more time doing yoga and wearing my yoga leggings. I still enjoy shopping with my daughter.
My husband and I are the opposites of the rule. I hate to shop with a passion and my husband loves it. He doesn’t go overboard but he would if he could!
Hi Rena! Well as we all know even the best research only applies to generalities. There are always exceptions and this just proves that you and your husband are exceptional!!! 🙂 ~Kathy
Great article Kathy! Now I understand my preoccupation with shopping. Can’t wait for the next part.
Hi Kathy M. Glad you liked this this one. I’m digging up some really great stuff for the next one so i hope you check back. ~Kathy
Kathy:
YOU are such a great researcher and I LOVE the topics you select! Who knew we are still hunting and gathering at the mall? And yes, I remember which stores have the best sales people, while Mike hardly notices. I like to have a ‘relationship’ with them…
An interesting tidbit about the whole “making our own decisions” section. My ex-husband’s father wouldn’t let his wife go shopping without him. He thought she might screw up on the coupons!
Now you see why he’s my ex!
— LLC
Hi Laura Lee! Ha! Thom said I could have been a research scientist in a parallel life because I enjoy it so much. But isn’t it MORE fun just to write about it all….especially how it pertains to us personally. Thank you for offering some personal examples of how shopping shows up differently in people. Naturally we all approach it a bit different but the similarities are fascinating to me. ~Kathy
I love all of the detail and research you quoted. Who knew shopping was in our genes?
That explains a lot for me. I’m a great shopper….smart and strategic….I like quality but either wait for sales or shop at discount places.
Hi Lisa! I know you know a great deal about mindfulness so I’m not at all surprised that your shopping is SMART and strategic. 🙂 Being aware of our style and staying conscious is a big key I think. Thanks for your thoughts. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
This is an interesting topic. The concept of women being gatherers clarifies it quite well. There is a strange urge to wear something new, which inspires most modern women to shop, the urge to change the decor and give an aesthetic touch to our homes…we are impelled by different reasons and shopping is a stress-buster for some as long as they have the money of their husbands at their disposal!
Hi Balroop! How are you? Yes, I do think those urges that we all have no and then have a fascinating origin if we are willing to explore them. I’m thinking next week’s blog post will be something like “10 Big Reasons Women Like to Shop” and you’ve confirmed a couple of them! Thanks! ~Kathy
I am not much of a shopper- half of the time I loathe the experience (and sometimes can’t bring myself to buy even the things I need). But I do think shopping is related to control. We believe that buying things gives us control over our own lives – we buy things to make us feel safe and comfortable. Or to entertain/distract us.
I remember learning in high school that when you earn money, you gain “purchasing power” – the ultimate “freedom” to be able to consume what you want. It was taught almost as a golden rule that everyone wants to make more money because the ultimate goal is being able to spend. Looking back it’s a bit disturbing.
Hi Michelle! I’ll bet you are like me in that we can actually “train” ourselves to NOT shop. I know you are more into sustainability that a lot of women so I’ll bet that overrides any primal reasons for wanting to forage that a lot of women have. And yes, definitely that “control” issue is important. I’m also reading a lot about how many women (and men) tie their identities to what they buy so there’s probably a lot in there too. And I appreciate that idea about “purchasing power”. I’ll bet there’s some of that too. Good to know right? If we don’t know about something we can’t consciously change. ~Kathy
Good topic Kathy. I find it a fascinating subject. I had some classes way back in college that I elected on the subject. From groceries to homes to health care it is all about shopping!
Hi Haralee! Yes I found this so interesting and found so-o-o much information on it online that I couldn’t help but write about it. Lucky you for getting to study some of it in college! Let me know if I miss anything important! ~Kathy
Juicy topic, Kathy! We are indeed gatherers. I believe we’re genetically wired as such. I’m looking forward to next week’s post. I know I use shopping as therapy sometimes but often it will be ‘looking’ or window shopping. Then there’s the whole on line shopping aspect of which I avoid. I’m afraid I’ll indulge too much so I stay away from that. I prefer to touch, try and enjoy the shopping experience in 3D.
Hey Lisa! Yes, isn’t it fascinating? I was amazed at how it explained somethings in such detail. And like I said, even though I’m not much of shopper I do instinctually bargain hunt. I know when grocery items are on sale and plan accordingly. I like to compare and contrast what seems to be a “better” product automatically. And for the most part Thom is a classic man in his shopping instincts so it was really interesting to have a reason why we are so different. I’ll have to see if I can dig up stuff about how online vs. in person goes. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
For me, shopping is a chore most of the time. I really enjoy browsing, and I like that a walk through a big mall or outdoor plaza/shopping space gives me a nice little break from gym time. 🙂 When I’m under the time-crunch of actually having to buy something (like at Christmas), I find it incredibly frustrating, hard work!
Other times, I see something that I just find so beautiful (for my home, or for myself) and I make the emotional decision to want to have beauty around me, so I buy it, whether I *need* it or not.
I see where this mindset could become really toxic for some (i.e. hoarders) who look to fill a hole with ‘stuff’. Thankful I’m way too clutter-averse to ever let that happen to me. Purge, purge, purge is my motto. 🙂
Hi Nancy! Yes! Isn’t it funny when you start focusing on de-cluttering that buying anything just seems WRONG! Plus there are so many other things I’d rather be doing most of the time that shopping just doesn’t “fulfill me” like it does other women. But isn’t it interesting where some of those “urges” come from? Always good to know in my book! ~Kathy
I’m a bag & drag shopper for the most part but on occasion, usually in the company of friends who I consider professionals when it comes to shopping, I turn it into a sport. I use these opportunities to cross off the need list items, followed by one or two nice to have items – clothing, shoes or household items. It’s also an opportunity to stock up the “tickle trunk” so there are gifts on hand when a birthday party comes up or even for Christmas. I have to really need it or really love it to make a purchase.
Hi Mona! I agree that for most of it our shopping connects to the amount of time we have available. The busier we are then the more likely we will just “bag and drag” with the best of them. I’ve never heard of a “tickle trunk” before but that makes sense if you have a lot of people on your gift list. More than anything I’m hoping this couple of posts will help us all be more conscious of what our triggers are. If we have the time, resources and find it enjoyable then great. It’s the other times I think we need to think about. Thanks for your thoughts. ~Kathy
I am definitely an anomaly. I hate shopping and avoid it! One of my daughters feels the same way; the other is a true shopaholic.