With the new school year fast approaching, I think it is useful to recognize that people generally have one of two different mindsets when it comes to learning. Some people think you “just have what you were born with” as far as smarts or intelligence goes, while others live their lives with the belief that you can always learn more and become more with effort. Which are you? Sort of like a brain “operating system,” believing and behaving with either a growth mindset or a fixed mindset will go a long way towards determining your success and happiness in this lifetime. The good news is, if you haven’t been getting the results you crave, you can always change your mindset and go from there.
Drop a light bulb on the floor and it shatters. Drop an apple and it bruises. Drop a hard rubber ball and it bounces back—good as new. What about you? Every single one of us experiences a variety of events every day. Some experiences are smooth and pleasant, some merely okay, and others downright tough. While most of us can sail easily through the good times—whether we shatter, bruise or bounce during the tough times are as individual as we are. We all know a few people who are amazing at bounding right back. Others—not so great. The good news is that with the desire, every one of us can improve our bounce-ability quotient. [Read more…]
“I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.” ~E.B. White
A few weeks ago I posted about how it was “SMART to Spend Time in Nature.” That’s because there are dozens of scientific studies that now prove that not only is it healing for the body, it is also extremely good for our mental health to experience time in the great outdoors. Since writing that blog, I have since discovered that not only is it good for us physically and mentally—spending time in nature also makes us nicer and more generous people.
Has anything pleasantly unexpected happened to you lately? Why not? If your day is starting to look and feel like the movie “Ground Hog Day” then maybe you have closed yourself off from the new and possible. Just holding open the possibility that something new and wonderful could happen today—might be what’s needed to crack open that door to a miraculous possibility that never before seemed feasible.
An important part of SMART Living 365 is creating happiness. But what do I mean by happiness? Unfortunately, many people in America seem to be working to either buy happiness or make happiness happen, and that can actually lead to more stress and dissatisfaction than anything else. So, before we go further, let’s explore what happiness is, and isn’t—how we can experience it—and why should we want it in the first place. [Read more…]
Just over six months ago Thom and I added a new family member to our household—a puppy we named Kloe. To be sure, a puppy ads havoc, lots more work and a great deal of responsibility to anyone who cares for them. However, the increased value and joy Kloe brings to our lives more than compensates for any inconvenience. Not only does Kloe make us laugh on a daily basis, there is plenty of proof that she is also good for our health.
“Research has shown that people with a greater sense of vitality don’t just have more energy for things they want to do, they are also more resilient to physical illnesses. One of the pathways to health may be to spend more time in natural settings,” Richard Ryan.
As some of our friends and family know, Thom and I have been renting a house for a month every summer up in Idyllwild for around 17 years. Idyllwild is a very small mountain town, (less than 2,000 permanent residents) about an hour from our home in the desert. Back in 1993 we did it for the first time because, quite frankly, we couldn’t afford any other type of vacation. It seemed like a good way to escape the desert heat and was a great bargain as well. Little did we know back then that the experience would be so rewarding, that we would still be doing it 17 years later. Now, not only do we consider it still an amazing vacation value, we are living examples of the restorative power of spending time in nature. [Read more…]
“There’s more to life than increasing its speed.” – Mohandas Gandhi
It’s summertime here in the Coachella Valley where I live, and because it is the desert southwest, it is expectedly hot outside. While we locals have certain tricks and techniques to stay cool, most of the time the heat of the season makes me lethargic and under-motivated. While none of us like to think of ourselves as lazy, me included, maybe the season is both an invitation and permission to slow down, relax and enjoy life. After all, pushing yourself when it’s extremely warm (or cold) outside isn’t SMART no matter how you look at it.
The problem is, most of us are addicted to busyness. That’s right. Unless we are busy doing something there is a little voice inside our heads constantly driving us to do more, be more, and have more. That voice of criticism is quick to point out that we will never get everything done if we pause for more than five minutes. It tempts us by leading us to believe that we can’t possibly be happy if we neglect to finish that project, make that last phone call, return that last email or whatever it is you think you need to get done. Of course, there is always more that needs to be done, and before we know it, the day is over and like Jackson Browne sings in one of his songs “I’ll go home and lay my body down, And when the morning light comes streaming in, I’ll get up and do it again.”
Unfortunately this isn’t just an individual problem, it is a cultural problem. Americans work more every year on the average than workers in any other industrialized country. Even those who are lucky enough to get a paid vacation don’t get nearly as much time off as other countries. Typical full time workers in Europe take between seven and eight weeks of vacation and holidays every year. Much of this comes from a US corporate mindset that repeatedly sends out a message that says, “We aren’t rich enough to treat workers well.” In spite of the fact that American productivity has mushroomed, most Americans have not been able to experience the rewards of such growth. Instead, most of us have blindly accepted ongoing messages of lack and limitation, which drive us to work harder and longer with no end in sight. Once we accept the practice of constant productivity, we find it difficult to slow down or take it easy, even when our health demands it. Sadly, with no awareness of our addiction, we allow the loop to take over our lives. As Lily Tomlin joked, “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
So, what do we do about it? Just like any addiction, it is useful to recognize the problem and then attempt to include steps towards recovery. A few pointers I intend to use include:
- Practice mindfulness. This first step is critical to recognizing when and where you let busyness run your life. You can’t stop it if you don’t even recognize it is happening.
- Recognize your excuses. If part of the hypnosis of busyness is a voice loop in your head telling you that you can’t slow down for even a minute, then stop, listen to that voice, try to identify whose voice you hear and then tell your self the exact opposite. For example, if the voice you hear is your mother/father/boss/ etc. then speak up in your own voice with an equal argument against slowing down. One of the best arguments I know is that no matter how hard you work there will be something else tomorrow so I might as well take a break. Or, be sure and remember that it is scientifically proven that multi-tasking is less productive and effective than doing one thing at a time.
- Do daily prayer/meditation/contemplation. This step might seem like just another “to do” on the busy list, but I can assure you that if you train yourself to spend 10-15 minutes in this way it will remind you of what is really important. Sending one more email won’t seem as important. Doing one more load of wash will be put into perspective. Actually, in this step we are training ourselves with a good habit instead of a rat-race habit.
- Turn off the electronics. This is a difficult one for me because I happen to love my electronics! I can’t imagine life without a laptop, Smart Phone or an ipod. But all those things take time to manage, and they also keep me going from one thing to the next. Sometimes the low-tech option like reading a book is the best way for me to unwind and slow down.
- Spend time with people who already know how to slow down. Ever been to France or Italy? In many countries besides ours, people know how to slow down and enjoy their lives. Ever taken a three-hour lunch? How about a siesta? Hanging out with other people who seem to embrace relaxation and enjoy slow living is a powerful way to slow down yourself.
- Set your priorities. How many people do you know who say, “My family/ health/relationship/etc are the most important thing in my life,” but in contrast, everything they do is something unrelated? If your family/health/relationship/whatever is truly the most important thing in your life, then live every day like you mean it!
- Just say no. If you were raised to be a good boy/girl, then it might seem rude or unkind to just say no if someone asks you to do something. I find it especially hard if the approval of the person asking me is important to me. Unfortunately, if we go through our entire life attempting to please others instead of ourselves, we will never find the peace we seek.
- Don’t “should” on yourself. That’s right, if you do what you do on a regular basis strictly from a sense of “shoulds” then chances are your shoulds are just the voice of your addiction. Instead, every time you think I “should” do that—stop, breathe and ask yourself why?
- Stop spending money you don’t have. (That includes buying things on credit!) When we overspend for any reason then we are climbing into a rat cage and starting to spin that wheel. You will never feel free to slow down if you constantly have to work to pay for things that you never should have bought in the first place!
- Stop rewarding yourself by over committing or buying things you don’t need. Do you really need a $1,000 handbag? Do you think a $20,000 barbecue cooks better than a $400 one from Lowe’s? No and no. Unfortunately, far too many people think because they are working so hard that they deserve to have special things. Unfortunately, the high that comes from buying something cool quickly becomes passé and before you know it, you need something else to give you a “high.” Yep, that’s an addiction. Recognize it and take whatever steps needed to stop.
I’m certain that if each of us practiced these steps on a regular basis we would have plenty of time to sit and relax sometime during every day. Still, until we make as many of these steps a habit, we are likely to continue to suffer from busyness. If it seems too overwhelming, just try one step at a time. Ultimately, the freedom and joy that comes from slowing down will more than make up for any perceived loss. A SMART life is one where we celebrate moments of peace and contentment, and we can only do that when we have permission to slow down each and every day.
Happy SMART Day Everyone!
This week Thom and I experienced a dramatic reminder of this truth—don’t take anyone for granted and share your love with those you love every single day. While most all of us would agree that this is an important part of SMART Living, everyone—me included, can use a reminder
Our “lesson” in this regard came this past Monday evening. There was nothing special about the day—nothing bad, but nothing amazingly wonderful either. We’d finished dinner and Thom was in the kitchen doing dishes. I could see that the sun had finally set so I knew it would be getting cooler outside. Our small mixed-terrier dog Kloe was watching me closely to see if it was time to go to the dog park before dark. But right before we did, Thom decided to take the garbage out to the trash bins with Kloe trailing behind. [Read more…]
Do you have any idea how powerful a simple smile is? I sure didn’t. Last night I watched the attached TED Talk where Ron Gutman, the CEO of HealthTap, explained the benefits of something we can do every single day—smile.
Gutman said he got his start from a study done at Berkley that tracked graduates over a 30-year period. What they did is first examine and then measure the smiles from students found in their graduation yearbook. From the smiles they measured they were able to predict how fulfilling and long-lasting the individuals married relationships would be, how well they would score on a standardized test for well-being, and finally how inspiring they would be to others. Wow—makes you wish you could go back and take that photo again right? [Read more…]